Choosing Sides
by Enola
Summary: Slightly is banished from the Lost Boys when his friendship with Billy Jukes is discovered. Things worsen when he's forced to join the pirates and memories of his old life return. AbuseAngst
1. Exiled

Chapter 1

It was yet another lovely day in Neverland.  The sky was blue, the wind was cool, and the sun filled the island with warmth and light.  The sounds of yet another battle between mortal man and child were gone, and peace returned to most of the inhabitants of the land.  But for the combatants, chaos still ruled as both sides looked to their own to ask:  What the hell is going on?

Slightly stared at the ground, unwilling to look into the livid face of his leader.  "It's not what you think, Peter," he said weakly, too hurt to find the energy to defend himself.

"Well, what ELSE could it be?  How long have you been a traitor, Slightly?" Pan snarled.  The other Lost Boys just stared in shock, wishing Wendy was here to intervene. 

"I never betrayed you!" Slightly cried, "Billy is my friend, but he's a pirate and I'm a Lost Boy…"

"No, you're not," Peter said coldly.

"What?" all the boys gasped together.

"You're banished, Slightly," Peter continued.  "You lied to me, made the pirates your allies and proved yourself untrustworthy.  You're no longer a Lost Boy!"

Slightly felt himself grow faint, stunned by Peter's decision.  He stared in shock at the boy he'd always considered his oldest friend.  "Peter, no," he moaned and held out his hands pleadingly.

"Peter, he's hurt!" Nibs cried, seeing the blood covering the boy's right hand.

The anger in Peter gave way to concern and he stepped closer to see.  "Slightly?  What happened?  Where are you hurt?"

Slightly looked at the blood on his hand, then tucked it back under his vest and recovered the gash in his side.  "It's just a scratch," he lied as he became angry.  "Why do you care?  I'm slightly not a Lost Boy anymore!"

"You're our friend," Nibs began, but Slightly cut him off.

"Friends don't turn on you because they slightly dislike your other friends!  Captain Hook clipped me when I pushed Tootles out of the way, and that's why Billy helped me.  But slightly none of you cared to ask.  You saw me and Billy together in the fight and assumed I betrayed you."  Slightly paused to catch his breath and swayed a bit as he began to feel dizzy.

Peter and Nibs continued to approach, worried now that they could see the blood seeping through the boy's vest.  "Slightly, calm down and sit.  We have to stop your bleeding," Peter said softly.

"Stay away!" Slightly yelled as he backed up.  He was too angry to be reasoned with and too hurt emotionally by his friends' complete lack of faith in him.  "You don't want me, fine!  Don't pretend anymore that you care, just leave me alone!"  He turned and ran heedlessly into the forest.

"Slightly!" Curly called and looked at Peter.  "What do we do?"

"Let him go to his pirate friends, for all I care!" Peter yelled.  Then his eyes fell on the drops of blood on the grass and fear filled him again.  "I didn't mean it.  We have to find him.  He's hurt and upset and he could get in worse trouble."  The boys flew into the trees to find Slightly.

An hour or so later, Slightly staggered to the edge of the river and stopped.  He stared at the fast-flowing water and thought, trying to figure out what to do.  He faintly heard his name being called and looked up, frowning.  He'd been hiding and dodging Peter and the boys all this time, and he was tired.  He knew he probably should let them help him, that he was injured, but he was still angry and really didn't want to talk to any of them right now.

_I need to get across.  They won't look for me over there.  Not too far after that and I'll be in the Indian village,_ he thought.  He was just above Forget-Me-Not Falls, and the water was too swift to wade in.  But there were lots of boulders protruding above the surface, so he figured he could jump from rock to rock.  _I slightly wish I could fly, but Peter stopped that when he banished me.  He took a deep breath and leapt to the first boulder, then to the next._

"Slightly!" came a call, and the boy looked up to see Peter on the bank.

"Leave me alone, Peter," Slightly called back, struggling to keep his balance.

"I'm sorry, Slightly, I was wrong.  Please let me help you and we'll talk," Peter offered, drifting towards him.

_Peter Pan is apologizing?_ Slightly thought in disbelief.  "That's two slightly impossible things today," the boy mused, "my family disowns me and you admit you're wrong."

"I don't understand how you and Jukes are friends, but I want to.  I shouldn't have gotten mad.  Please, take my hand and lets go home," Peter said as he floated before Slightly and held out his hands.

Slightly stared for a moment and then nodded.  He was tired and he wanted his friends back.  He held out his hands, leaning forward to reach, and cried out as he lost his footing on the slick rocks and fell into the icy water.

"Slightly, no!" Peter called.  He tried to catch the boy, but Slightly's hand was slick with blood and he couldn't hold him.  He darted over the water, looking for a sign, but the boy didn't resurface.

_The falls!_ he thought and raced to the waterfall.  He crowed loudly, summoning the other boys and any allies within hearing, and continued his search.  But Slightly, alive or dead, was nowhere to be seen.


	2. Found

Chapter 2

"I believe we will pause here for a rest," Hook said pleasantly as the men marched into a clearing.  "And while we rest, we can discuss with Mr. Jukes where his loyalties lie." 

_Here it comes,_ Billy thought, filling with dread.  "My loyalties are with you, Cap'n," the boy said.

"Then why did you assist that Lost Boy?" Hook's voice remained calm, indicating how angry the pirate was.

"Slightly helped me cure Mullins when he had Never-fever.  I'd captured him and he escaped, but he came back to help.  We've been friends ever since, but only when we're alone.  In battle, he's a Lost Boy and I'm a pirate… we just don't fight each other."

"And today in battle, you aided our enemy," Hook reminded him, examining his steel claw.

Billy sighed, "I care about 'im.  I've been trying to get 'im to leave Pan and join us… no-one there appreciates 'im.  But now you've hurt him and I doubt anything I say now will convince 'im to switch sides."  He stood up straighter and tried not to show his fear.  "I'm loyal to you, Cap'n.  I love my crew and my ship.  But Slightly is my friend and if he's hurt I'll do what I can to help 'im, as long as it don't endanger my mates.  And if you see fit to punish me, sir, I'll not resist."

Hook stared at the gunner for a moment, then calmly jerked the boy up to stare at him eye-to-eye.  "If you hadn't proven your value to me as an inventor, gunner, and smith, I'd string you up right now.  You've escaped death, but you _will be punished.  And next time you meet your __friend, you will prove your loyalty by delivering him to me.  Do you understand?"_

Jukes stared, wide-eyed, and tried to think of a response.  A scream spared him from having to answer, a cry for help coming from somewhere nearby.  

Hook dropped the boy and spun in the direction of the sound.  "Men!  Break's over," he yelled as he went to investigate the source of the sound. Not far from the clearing ran Kid's Creek.  Hook stepped to the bank of the creek and looked around.  He spotted the source of the sound quickly, as did the men who followed him.

"Slightly!" Jukes shouted, trying to jump in the water to help his friend.

Mullins restrained him.  "Ya can't swim, lad," he reminded him.

Slightly was in the middle of the stream, the rushing water keeping him pinned to a rock, but his head and shoulders were above the surface.  At Jukes's call, he opened his eyes.  He couldn't see so well, but he'd recognized the voice.  "Help me, please," he called and passed out again.

Hook stared at the scene for a moment, considering.  _He's injured.  If I save him, he'll make admirable bait for Pan.  Or, I could let him die and be rid of one Lost Boy.  It was an easy decision, and he turned to his men.  "Rope, Smee.  I'll tie one end to myself, you louts hold the other.  I'm going after the whelp."_

"You'll go, Cap'n?  Thank you!" Billy cried in relief.

 "Don't be a fool, Jukes," Hook growled, "I plan to use the brat as bait, and I'm the only one that can swim that's strong enough for the current."  _He'll have a hard time choosing between me and that boy one day.  Jukes's loyalties lie with love, not fear, else he never would have stood up to me when Mullins took sick.  But as long as I have Mullins, I have him._

A few minutes later, Hook was chest deep in the creek, moving slowly across the rushing water.  He'd begun a bit upstream so that by time he got to the center of the creek, the current would have him where Slightly lay.  When he reached the boy, he rested against the rock, careful not to dislodge the injured child.

When he caught his breath, he reached for Slightly.  The boy awoke as he felt himself moved, and he cried out in fear when he recognized Hook.

"Save your strength, boy, and don't fight me," Hook growled.  "If I drop you, you'll be washed down stream again."  He waited until Slightly nodded, then slung him over his shoulder and signaled his men to haul on the rope.  Slowly but steadily, the man and his captive made their way ashore.

Once on land, Hook did not relinquish his burden.  Instead, he untied the rope and ordered his men on towards the ship.

"But Cap'n," Billy protested, seeing the blood that still seeped from Slightly's wound, "he's hurt and bleedin'!"

"He'll hurt more if you don't shut up and _move_," Hook snarled as he led the way.  The boy was out again, so Hook didn't worry about restraining him.  Far distant, they heard voices calling for Slightly.  "They're searching for him.  But I'm not ready for them to find him yet.  Until I have Pan, young Slightly is very dear to me.  So hurry up and get to the ship!"

When they finally got aboard, Hook had a cot put in the brig.  He left Slightly to the care of Smee and Jukes, and retired to his cabin to plan.  Occasionally, he came down to check on the boy (and to ensure Jukes wasn't helping the boy escape).

The wound in Slightly's side was easy to take care of.  It was deep, but it was a glancing wound that did not injure anything but skin and muscle.  But it did bleed a lot, and the boy was very weak from blood-loss.  Smee was able to close it up fine, so the danger from it (excepting infection) was now minimal.

Slightly looked like he'd been beaten.  He was covered in bruises and had several cracked ribs.  His skin was abraded on his arms and legs where he'd scraped rocks, and he had a huge lump on his head.  They made him as comfortable as they could and let him rest.  Jukes insisted on staying with him, though, unable to stop worrying until Slightly woke up.

That evening, Hook went to the brig again to see if the boy was awake.  He felt a surge of anger and annoyance to see Jukes sitting on a stool by the bed.  "Boy," he growled, "why are you neglecting your duties?" 

Billy looked up in alarm, "Mullins and Starkey took my chores so I could tend to Slightly," he stammered.  His alarm grew when Hook entered the cell and shut the door behind him. 

"We have yet to discuss your punishment, Mr. Jukes," Hook growled.  He felt a great deal of satisfaction in the fear he saw in Billy's eyes.

"Don't," Slightly moaned.  He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't.  "Don't hurt Billy… like Peter… hurt me."

"Peter Pan did this to you?" Hook asked in disbelief.

"He… banished me.  Said I was… pirate," Slightly mumbled, falling back into blessed sleep again.

"Did he now," Hook mused, looking at the boy critically.  _Pan disowned him. He has no one to turn to.  I can use this boy to more advantage than I thought.  He knows where Peter Pan sleeps.  Perhaps Jukes can__ persuade Slightly to join us.  Then I can have Pan and Jukes can have his friend._

He looked again at Jukes and smiled.  "Your punishment is to care for Mr. Slightly.  See that he recovers and does not escape.  If he runs away, I _will hang you.  You seem to be the only friend left to him, so perhaps you'll get your wish."_

Billy frowned, distrustful of Hook's intentions.  "What wish, sir?"

"I want that boy to sign on to my crew.  I want the secrets in his head, and I want him to give them to me willingly.  You and I will convince him to join us.  I'll get Pan and I'll no longer have to be concerned about your loyalties.  Now do you understand?"

"Ay, Cap'n," Jukes answered.  He watched Hook leave and turned back to Slightly.  "I'm sorry, cully.  I shouldn'a let the cat out that we're friends.  I want ya to be a pirate, but at the same time, I don't want ya to live in fear of Cap'n like I do.  I just want us to be able to be friends."  He brushed the hair from Slightly's face and sighed.  "It would be better if we both could be Lost Boys," he whispered, "but I can't leave Mullins." 


	3. Fearful Awakening

Chapter 3

Late that night, Slightly finally awoke to a multitude of aches and pains.  His head throbbed and his chest burned, but at least he was still alive.  He opened his eyes to see what the heavy lump on his side was, and saw that Jukes was there.  The gunner had his head pillowed on his arm, and was curled up on the small bed with Slightly.

"Welcome back, boy," growled a familiar, frightening voice.

Slightly looked towards the bars of the cell and saw Captain Hook staring at him, an alarmingly friendly smile on his face.  "What… why… how?" Slightly stammered.  He looked down at Jukes, then back at Hook, "Is Billy a prisoner, too?"

Hook chuckled, amused by the boy's discomfort.  _I need him to be receptive to me, and he won't be if he's too frightened.  "Hardly.  He's been tending to you since I brought you here, and he's worn himself out.  He opted to sleep here in case you awoke."  He frowned, "Mr. Jukes can sleep through anything, apparently.  And I have yet to decide if you are a prisoner or a guest, so I am erring on the side of caution by keeping you in the brig."_

"A guest?  I'm slightly confused," Slightly replied.

Hook looked at him, smiling.  "You said Peter Pan banished you.  Therefore, I assumed you are no longer a Lost Boy."

"I – I guess I'm not," Slightly sighed, remembering the fight.  It pained him to remember, and he felt the sadness welling up in him again.  "What are you going to do with me?"

"If you aren't a Lost Boy, then you're not my enemy.  My only enemies are Peter Pan and his allies.  I couldn't care less about anyone else.  But Mr. Jukes has named you his friend; therefore I'm inclined to count you as an ally."

"I'm not a pirate," Slightly snapped, remembering Peter's accusation.

"Indeed you aren't," Hook chuckled.  "If you wish to leave, you may go at anytime.  I don't know if you can fly, but if you can't I will have a man row you ashore."  He smiled at the disbelief on Slightly's face and continued.  "But you are welcome to stay here and recover more.  Your injuries aren't deadly, but they will hinder you for awhile.  You'll need to be well before you start fending for yourself… since you _are_ homeless now."

"Homeless," Slightly repeated, "I slightly didn't realize that.  I can't go home.  Maybe I can stay with the Indians."

"Maybe.  Unless Pan had told them you're a traitor, in which case they may just run you off.  I'm afraid I've made solid enemies of the Indians, and if they believe Pan that you are a pirate…" Hook shrugged.  He unlocked the cell door and opened it wide.  "As I said, go or stay.  Mr. Jukes is fond of you, so he'll be happy if you remain and recover.  I'd prefer you stay.  I risked a lot to save you from the river.  I'd hate to see that effort wasted if you get yourself killed because you were too hurt to run from the croc, or any of the numerous other wild animals."

"I slightly remember…" Slightly said slowly, trying to piece the images together.  "I was in the water… you came after me, you saved my life.  Why?"

Hook entered the cell and looked at Jukes.  He picked up another blanket and draped it over the sleeping boy.  "You and Jukes are friends.  He can't swim, and I wasn't going to make him leave you behind.  The idiot would have gone back and drowned himself trying to save you.  Jukes is too valuable for me to lose.  I'm the strongest and I can swim, so I opted to save you myself."

"Oh," the boy said softly, "thank you."

"By the way, how did you come to be there?  And with so many injuries?  I know I'm the one that opened your side, but you look like someone beat you.  Did Pan…"

"No!" Slightly shouted, waking Jukes.  He took a breath and smiled at Billy.

"Welcome aboard, cully," Billy said with a yawn.  He stopped when he saw Hook there.  "Cap'n!  Sorry!  I was…"

"Jukes," Hook interrupted, "I may be a black-hearted slave driver, but even I recognize my men need sleep from time to time.  You're fine; Mr. Slightly and I were just discussing how he came to be in the river."

"I fell," Slightly explained.  "I was trying to cross when Peter found me.  I – I slightly don't remember what happened.  He was talking to me, then I was underwater.  I remember going over the falls.  It's all slightly blurry and confusion after that.  I woke up when I hit the rock and I got hung there.  Then you pulled me out," Slightly sat up carefully, mindful of his aching ribs.

Hook nodded and looked at Jukes.  "Go get some food for you both.  I've invited your friend to stay, but he can go if he wishes.  It would be wiser for him to stay at least until he's better."  He looked back at Slightly, "You're free to go about the ship.  I'd prefer if your ex-friends did not know you were here; I don't want Pan coming and causing more trouble than he usually does."  With another nod at the boys, he turned and went back to the deck.

"That was slightly not what I expected," the boy muttered when Hook was gone.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Jukes replied.  He looked at Slightly and smiled.  "This is the part where I'm supposed to make you want to stay."

"Why?"

"Cap'n Hook wants you to join us," Billy answered truthfully.

"Umm… again with the 'why'?" Slightly repeated, feeling mystified.  "If Peter was my friend and didn't want me, then why would Hook see any use in me?  Peter won't rescue me."

"He doesn't want my loyalties divided," Jukes said with a sigh.  "If you're a pirate, I'll work that much harder for my crew.  Between Mullins and you, I'd never betray the ship.  Plus, he needs any crew he can get, there's hardly enough of us for the duties and we have to do extra shifts to get it all done."

Slightly nodded and sat deep in thought.  Billy left him for a bit to tell Cookson to warm up some stew.  When he returned, Slightly looked at him with tears on his cheeks.

"I think I'll stay here, Billy.  At least for a little while.  I – I slightly have nowhere else to go," he broke into sobs, thinking about Peter, Wendy, and the Lost Boys – friends who didn't want him anymore.  Hear heard Peter's voice again, _Let him go to his pirate friends, for all I care!_


	4. The Wedge

Chapter 4

Peter sat in his chair and stared at the fire.  The room was quiet, none of the boys were speaking – too worried and upset to say much.  Wendy sat in her chair, trying to be strong, but everyone heard her sniffs and saw her wipe her eyes from time to time.

"I killed him," Peter said finally, shattering the silence.  He looked at the blood that had dried on his palm and began to cry.

Wendy couldn't comfort him.  She was too angry at Peter for the way he'd behaved, and upset at the others for not stepping in.  

"No you didn't, Peter," Tink said when she saw no one was going to say anything.  "It was an accident.  You tried to help him."

"He should be here right now!" Peter sobbed, "He should be on that bed with a bandage and telling the story about how Hook wounded him!  But he's not!  He's either drowned or bled to death!"

Michael and Tootles began crying loudly, and Wendy finally looked up.  "Yes he should be!  But that doesn't mean he's dead."

"If he's not dead," Peter reminded her, "then he's out there, alone and hurt.  And he thinks we don't want him, so he won't come here for help.  He's bleeding and the croc might smell him.  We should be looking for him!"

"It's too dark and there's no moon, Peter," Nibs reminded him.  "There's no way for us to see him.  We need to go to bed, so we can get up early and start looking again.  Chief Panther is sending his people to help us look, and they're the best trackers."

"Nibs is right," Wendy said, her eyes flashing.  "Everyone needs to go to sleep; it's past your bedtime.  We'll help Slightly best if we're rested tomorrow.  Peter, wash your hands."  Most of the boys didn't want to listen, but Wendy and Nibs chided and scolded them until they gave in and lay down.  Peter wouldn't be moved, though, so Tink dusted all the boys, using her magic to make them sleep.  At the girl's request, she did the same for Wendy, and all the children slept peacefully through the night.

The next morning, Peter floated over Kid's Creek, clutching Slightly's cap in his hand as he stared at the boulder.  Wendy and the other Lost Boys hovered around him and stared, too.  There was blood on the rock, and more obviously, there was a child-sized bloody handprint on the stone.

"He went over the falls," Nibs whispered, looking at the high drop in concern.

"Can anyone live through that?" Curly asked quietly.

"I don't know," Peter answered.  He looked down at the hat in his hands.  They had found it snagged in some boulders at the food of the falls, and they had hoped that Slightly had merely lost it before he climbed out of the water.  But this sign showed that Slightly had gone over, and that he had still been bleeding.

"Peter!" came Tiger Lily's voice from the bank.  The children flew to where she and two scouts stood.  "Pirates," she said, pointing to the footprints on the ground.  "They stood here.  One, Captain Hook I'm sure, went up the bank and entered the water.  He came out here, and they all left.  Back to the ship it seems.  Perhaps they have Slightly."

"Why would Hook rescue Slightly?" Peter mused.  He hoped that the pirates had, else Slightly could still be out there, somewhere.  If he was with the pirates, then he might still be alive.  _Is he a prisoner?  Or is he there willingly?_  Peter shook his head.  Of course he was a prisoner!  There'd been enough trouble from those thoughts already.  "Nibs, John, come with me.  We're going to the ship to scout and see if Slightly's there.  The rest of you, keep looking downstream.  Maybe Slightly got away and is still out here."

Everyone nodded and split into their search groups.

"I don't want to go in there," Slightly whispered to Billy.  He was leaning on the gunner, still too weak to be steady.  They were on their way to Hook's cabin, Slightly having been summoned to speak to the man.  But he was still distrustful and fearful of the Captain, and dreaded to find out what Hook wanted.

Billy patted him on the back, "You can still leave."

"I can barely walk right now," Slightly replied, "I won't make it on my own."  They continued on and knocked on the door.  At Hook's call, they entered the cabin.

Hook watched the two boys tentatively enter.  The boy Slightly looked as if he would bolt if he could, and he leaned on Jukes for more support than Hook thought was good.

"Mr. Jukes, you should have told me that Mr. Slightly was this weak and I wouldn't have had you bring him to me for another day."  He pulled a chair up and directed Slightly to sit.  "But you're here, so we'll continue."  He casually sat at his desk and offered the boys some tea.  Billy knew better than to accept and Slightly took his cue from the other boy.  "Jukes tells me you've decided to stay for now.  That's fine with me, but we have to make some rules clear."

"What kind of rules?" Slightly asked nervously.  Billy poked him painfully in the arm and he added, "Captain, sir."

Hook smiled, "I see you've learned rule number one.  Mr. Jukes will teach you the rest.  But there are some that I wish to make clear now, and it will be up to you to decide if you'll follow them or leave my ship.

"While you recover, you are a guest and will be treated as such.  When I've given you a clean bill of health, you'll be considered a boarder – you'll earn your keep by doing chores, but you won't be a crewman.  Whenever you wish to leave, I'll have you rowed ashore."  He stared at Slightly until the boy nodded.

"If any of the crew harasses you or gives you grief, report them to me and I will deal with them.  They _won't_ cause you further trouble.

"You may take your meals with the crew.  I may occasionally invite you to join me.  Since you will be a boarder, you will be given your own room, though it will be a little small.

"The only areas of the ship you will have access to will be your cabin, the kitchen, the head, and the decks.  Any other place is off limits unless I've given you a chore in that cabin.  The first time you trespass, you will be warned.  After that, you will be punished.

"Any other rules will be laid out in a lease I will draw up, and you will sign.  So think about it while you heal and decide."

"Boarding has better benefits than crewing," Billy muttered.

"Ah, but the duty will be harder," Hook laughed, "and he won't get a crewman's rights:  fair trial, shares of spoils, for starters."

"It slightly sounds fair," Slightly said softly.  "And I can leave whenever I want?"

Hook nodded, "Whenever you wish."  He smiled to himself as he looked out the window behind the boys and saw Pan and a few Lost Boys fly away soundlessly.  He'd heard them outside just after Slightly and Jukes came in, and he'd allowed them to hear the parts of the deal he knew they would consider treasonous.  _Now that they're gone…_

"Now here's a sticking point, which you will absolutely abide by, both while recovering and if you choose to stay," Hook continued.  "If you see Peter Pan or your former friends, you will give the alarm.  I know you have no desire to betray them," Hook leaned forward, "but if you don't give the call, you will be flogged and put ashore.  If I capture Pan or a Lost Boy and you are caught giving them aid, I will consider you a spy.  You will be flogged and imprisoned – possibly hanged.  I told you I no longer count you as an enemy, since Pan has disowned you, but if you ally yourself with them again, you will make us enemies once more.  Understand?"

Slightly stared at Hook and he was very pale.  "I won't stand by and let you hurt my friends…"

"They aren't your friends anymore," Billy interrupted.

"Even if they hated me, I'd still love them," Slightly insisted.  "I'm slightly sorry, Captain, but I won't do it.  Take me ashore, I'll find a way to survive on my own… Peter did it before we came."

_Easy now.__  I knew he'd have a hard time with that one; I didn't expect him to still love them, Hook thought as he smiled.  "Very well, I will take you ashore when you're well.  Since you won't agree to that rule, you will have to convalesce in the brig.  But you'll be well treated, and Mr. Jukes will attend you."_

"You won't take me ashore now?"

"I told you before, I risked my life to save you.  I won't have you being eaten by an animal because you're too hurt to defend yourself.  Stay here and get well," Hook soothed the boy.  He was willing to gamble that Slightly would change his mind the next time he crossed Pan, and would come back for sanctuary.

"Alright, Captain.  Thank you," Slightly said.  _I've gotta get out of here, he's going to try to trick me into something.  _He stood up to leave, and the room turned to grey.  _I'm dizzy, he mused as he fainted.  Billy barely caught him before he hit the floor._

"Cap'n!" Billy gasped as he clutched his friend's limp body.

Hook took Slightly from the boy and carried him back to the brig.  He put the child in the bunk and covered him up.  He smiled when he saw Billy's worried expression, "I shouldn't have summoned him so soon.  He's still weak – his ordeal was only yesterday.  But I wanted to speak with him while the hurt was still fresh in his memory.  Don't let him do more than sit up for a few days.  He needs to get his strength back and he shouldn't stress his wound.  The bruises will fade and he'll be much better in a week."

Billy nodded and was about to follow Hook out of the brig, when Slightly opened his eyes.

"Billy?" he called softly.

"Yeah, cully?" the gunner stepped to the boy's side.

"Don't leave me alone," Slightly begged, tears leaking from his eyes.  

"I'm here for ya, Slightly," Billy answered.  "You need to sleep."  Billy frowned for a moment and nodded, "I'll bring you some food and something to help you sleep, okay?"


	5. Aborted Rescue

Chapter 5

Wendy and the other boys were talking to the Indians when Peter flew up and hovered before them.  His eyes flashed dangerously and his face was set in a frighteningly angry expression.  Nibs and John caught up a second later, and Nibs looked angry too.  John just seemed confused.

"What happened, Peter?" Wendy asked worriedly.  "Did you find Slightly?"

"I don't want to hear that filthy traitor's name again," Peter said lowly.

"Peter!" Wendy gasped, but the boy just flew into a tree apart from the others.  "Nibs?"

"Slightly's a pirate.  He's to get no quarter in battle," Nibs answered and followed Peter.

The other boys were confused and upset, and Wendy turned to John.

"I don't understand it, Wendy," John said, scratching his head.  "We saw Slightly and Jukes going into Hook's cabin, so we hid below the window to see when would be a good time to rescue him.  Hook invited Slightly to stay and live with them… and Slightly agreed!  Hook made it clear that Slightly could stay or leave – even offered to have someone row him to shore, so he's definitely not a prisoner.  How could Slightly not want to come home?"

The boys looked at each other, frowning.  They were beginning to see why Peter and Nibs were angry.  This was the worst kind of betrayal.  

"Was Slightly okay?  How did he look?" Wendy asked worriedly.

"I don't know, we couldn't see him.  We heard his voice."

"Perhaps he didn't come back because he was hurt.  He was stabbed and he went over the waterfall!  As far as he knows, Peter banished him, so he thinks he has nowhere to go," Wendy reasoned.

"It doesn't matter," Peter snapped as he came back into the clearing.  "He's known me longer than any of my other boys… he was my first Lost Boy!  He should know I wouldn't abandon him if he's hurt."

"And you've known him longer than anyone else," Wendy countered.  "And you disowned him!  He's hurt, so he's not thinking clearly.  Imaging being wounded and nearly drowned and all your Lost Boys turned on you.  How confused and upset would you be?"

Peter's face softened a bit, but then it hardened again.  "I'd rather be alone than take up with Hook.  He could have gone to the Indians.  No more excuses, Wendy.  Slightly made his choice, now he gets to live with it!" Peter turned to the other boys, "Let's go to the lagoon for a swim."

Wendy sighed in exasperation, but followed the boys to the lagoon.  She hoped to talk to Peter again, and thought that perhaps a swim would cool him off and make him more reasonable.  But he refused to discuss it, and after awhile she gave up on trying to sway him.  

"I'm going, Peter," she said finally.

"Going where?" Peter frowned, looking up from the sandcastle he and the boys were building.  They were having a contest to see who could build the best one.  "You can't leave, you're supposed to judge!"

"I'm going to check on Slightly!" she said firmly, holding up her hand to silence him.  "I don't care what you think, Peter.  If you won't go with me, I'll go alone."  She leapt into the air and began flying towards the ship.

She didn't get far before Peter was in front of her, blocking her way.

"Don't start, Peter," she snapped.  "Slightly is my boy, too, and I won't believe it until I see it."

"Suit yourself," Peter answered, "I'll show you."

It took awhile for the two to slip about the ship unseen and find Slightly – they weren't expecting him to be in the brig.  Hook did catch sight of them (pink shows up really well on a pirate ship) and he smiled as a bit of mischief presented itself in his mind.  He gave them a few minutes before going to the brig. 

Wendy and Peter peered through the bars and stared at the sleeping boy.  Slightly was wearing only his shorts and he'd kicked off his blanket, so it was easy to see his injuries.  Blood had seeped through the bandage on his side.  His entire body was bruised black and blue, and they could see scores on his chest and legs.

"Oh, Slightly, my poor boy," Wendy moaned softly.

"You're right, he is hurt bad," Peter added, "We have to get him out of here."

They began looking for a way to open the cell, but they had to hide when they heard voices approaching.  

"You gave him rum?" Hook growled as he dragged Billy to the cell.

"He couldn't sleep, he was too sore and he's upset from everything that happened yesterday," Billy stammered.  "I didn't think it would hurt him."

"The child nearly bled to death and he has a concussion, and you thought getting him drunk wouldn't hut him?" Hook scolded as he knelt by the bunk.  Slightly stirred and whimpered, and Hook put a reassuring hand on the boy.

"If you've done permanent damage to my new weapon against Peter Pan, I will flay you alive!" the man snarled as he examined Slightly.  He winced at the smell of the rum.  Jukes had actually done him a favor:  with Slightly inebriated and passed out, he could say things for Pan's benefit and not worry about the boy refuting him.

Behind the crates, Peter's face flushed in anger and Wendy covered her mouth as Hook continued to speak.

"Let him sleep it off.  When he's better, he will lead us to Pan's house and secure his place in my crew." Hook chuckled, "If I actually manage to dispose of Pan, I may adopt this wily child as my own son."  He picked up Slightly and turned to Jukes, "Prepare him a place to sleep, he'll rest in my bed till it's done.  I don't want him getting sicker down here."

"Billy," Slightly's voice was low and thick with sleep.

"Yeah, cully?" Billy answered.

"Why does Peter hate me?"

Billy gave only the quickest glance at the crates, the only place Pan could hide if he was still here.  "I don't know.  Probably because he's a self-centered brat and he only cares about himself," Billy winced and stared at Hook, "just like you said.  But we'll get them back, won't we?"

Slightly didn't answer, having only been talking in his sleep.  Feeling like he'd betrayed his friend, Billy gathered the pillow and blanket and followed Hook to the deck.

Wendy held Peter while the boy cried.  Peter was hurt, deeply hurt.  It had hurt him to see Slightly so injured (it evoked memories of Slightly when he'd first found him so long ago).  It had hurt him more to hear Hook's plans for Slightly.  But to hear Jukes's description of how Slightly felt about him broke his heart.  

When the tears stopped, he grabbed Wendy roughly and flew with her in his arms, not even bothering to hide his escape from the ship.  Once in the air, he screamed out his anger and zoomed home, still clutching Wendy to him.

Hook chuckled when he heard Peter's scream and he tucked Slightly in the bed.  "Only one day and already you've helped me hurt him so much.  You've already made it worth my while to save your hide.  I just hope you make it worth my while to let you live."


	6. Unwelcome Home

Chapter 6

Over a week later, Slightly stepped onto the shore and looked around.  He turned to the longboat and stared at Captain Hook.  The man smiled at him warmly. 

"Thank you, Captain.  I'm sorry if I slightly doubted you'd keep your word," the boy said.  "If you need anything that doesn't involve betraying Peter or the others, I'll do what I can."

"Oh, I will call you on that," Hook answered.  "I _am a pirate and I do no favors for free.  I've considered you a worthwhile investment as an ally.  Don't be upset if I hope your reception home is less than warm… I could use a lively lad like yourself in my crew.  Remember, my offer still stands."_

"Where are you going now?" Slightly asked.

Hook chuckled, "You're on your own now, lad, so my business is none of your concern.  You'll see us around."

"Good luck, Slightly," Billy called as he and the men began rowing again.

Slightly waved to his only friend, then slowly made his way into the trees.  The past week had been quiet.  He'd awakened in the brig (although it had been a lot cleaner and more comfortable than when he'd gone to sleep), and his only visitors had been Billy and Hook.  Hook only came by once a day or so, but Billy kept him company as much as he could.  The Captain had sent him some books to read while he was alone, to pass the time, and Slightly had waited impatiently for the day he could leave the ship.

Peter and the others hadn't been seen the entire time.  They never came to the ship, and none of the pirates had glimpsed them when they were ashore.  Slightly was worried, but Hook had said that perhaps they thought he was dead and were grieving.  

Slightly smiled as he walked, imagining their faces when they saw he was alive.  Maybe they'd forget about the argument and welcome him back in relief.  Suddenly dread filled him – what if they were happier thinking he was dead?  He shook his head and began whistling to drive away the unhappy thoughts.

It was a long walk to the home underground, and he stopped frequently to rest.  Around noon, he stopped to eat lunch.  Before he could even pull out the bread and cheese Cookson had given him, he was surrounded by the Lost Boys.

"Peter!" Slightly said happily when he saw the boy alight in front of him.  He faltered when he saw the look on his former leader's face.

"Where do you think you're going, pirate?" Peter challenged, drawing his dagger.

"What?" Slightly stammered, "I'm not a… I'm going home…"

"You're going the wrong way, pirate," Peter interrupted.  He pointed behind the boy, "the _Jolly Roger_ is that way."

"I'm not a pirate!" Slightly yelled, tears welling up in his eyes.  _How can he be so mean?_

"You're not an Indian and you're not a fairy.  There's only Fairies, Indians, Lost Boys, and Pirates in Neverland.  And you're certainly not a Lost Boy."

Slightly looked at the other boys, but they all stared back at him stonily, even Tootles.  "I was your friend!" he cried, "I didn't do anything wrong… Tootles, I took Hook's sword for you!"  The small boy looked away from him, and a stray tear leaked out.  But he stayed silent.

"Lucky that Hook accidentally clipped you," Peter said icily, "He exposed his spy for us.  When did you become Hook's pet?"

Slightly stared, stricken, too upset to reply for a moment.  As he thought he grew angry, and it gave him more clarity.  "I never betrayed you, Peter.  I hoped and prayed for the last week you'd come rescue me and take me home.  But you never came."

"So you're saying you were a prisoner" Peter asked, smiling.  It deflated him a bit when Slightly didn't lie.

"No!" Slightly snapped.  "Billy must have spoken to Hook, because they saved my life and let me stay there until I was better.  I had nowhere to go – I could barely walk and it's taken me three hours to get this far!"

Peter frowned, "I know.  We've been watching."

Slightly felt something in him snap, and he thought it was either his sanity or his heart.  Whatever it was, it hurt.  _They knew where I was and they didn't care enough to even see if I was alright.  They've watched me walk for this long, and they just now decide to show themselves.  _"_You_ betrayed _me, Peter!" Slightly screamed.  "If you didn't want me any more, why didn't you just take me back where you found me?  No, you disowned me and pushed me into the river.  You wanted me dead, didn't you!"_

Peter looked shocked, "I didn't push you…"

But Slightly was hysterical now.  "You knew I was hurt, you knew our enemy had me and YOU LEFT ME THERE!  Did you even bother to look for me?  Or did you forget about me as soon as I was out of sight?"

Peter punched Slightly as hard as he could, and Slightly dropped like a rock.  The boy touched his jaw gingerly and felt blood run down his chin from where his teeth had pierced his lip.  Peter glared down at Slightly.

"_You allied with the pirates.  _You_ stayed with them, even after Hook offered to let you go.  You're leading them to our home right now.  Don't pretend like I'm the bad guy.  You are the traitor here.  Go on to the underground house; we don't live there anymore.  We moved when we heard the deal you struck with Hook.  You're a pirate, Jason.  Go back to your new friends."_

"Jason?" Slightly repeated, dazed.  Something unpleasant stirred in his mind, and he pushed it away.

"Your real name is Jason.  Slightly was a Lost Boy's name.  Slightly is dead.  You are the pirate Jason.  Next time we see you, you'd better be armed."  Peter lifted off the ground, followed by the other Lost Boys.  "See you around, Jason!" he called and they flew away.

"That was hateful, Peter!" Tink scolded when she caught up to the boys.  "Why did you give him his name back?"

Peter frowned, "You were in the tree watching.  You know what I told him."

"You stupid CHILD!" Tink screeched angrily.  "Do you even remember why we took his name in the first place?  Do you know what having that reminder might _do to him?"_

"I don't care…" Peter began, and they heard Slightly scream.

"Peter, what have you done?" Tink whispered and flew down.  Peter frowned and ordered his boys to go home, then flew after her.

Slightly was still sitting on the ground, staring ahead at nothing.  He screamed again and began sobbing as flashes of memory streaked through his mind.  They were too fast for him to catch, but they burned through him, leaving echoes of fear and anguish in their wake.  He didn't see Peter kneeling before him, eyes filled with worry.  He didn't see Tinker Bell as she flew around him, casting her dust and chanting the spell of forgetfulness.  Gradually, the images stopped and he saw Peter at last. 

"Go away," Slightly moaned, still haunted by the echoes of his forgotten memories.  "Leave me alone.  I get it, you hate me and you never want to see me again."  He wiped his eyes and stood, then began backing away.  "Maybe I don't want to see you either."

"Slightly," Peter tried to stop him.

"NO!" the boy screamed.  "Slightly's dead.  Jason's dead too."  He shook his head sadly, "I'm nobody.  Go away, Peter.  Go back to your real friends.  I hope you aren't as ready to throw them away as you were to throw me away."  He turned and ran blindly through the trees. 

Peter watched him go, worry and guilt flooding through him.  "Was I wrong?" he whispered.

"I think you were, and Wendy would agree with me," Tink answered.  "But the damage is done.  You've lost your oldest human friend.  Even if you forgive him, I doubt he'll forgive you… or the others.  I just hope my magic holds and he doesn't remember again."

"I should go after him," Peter said and leapt into the air.

"No, Peter.  You've hurt him enough.  Give him time.  Besides, he'll be running across Hook soon.  Billy Jukes will calm him down."

Peter frowned at the thought of Slightly taking up with the pirates again, but he heeded Tink and went the other way.


	7. Back to the Ship

Chapter 7

Slightly ran.  He didn't care where he went, he just wanted to get away.  So he fled from Peter, his tears blinding him.  He wasn't terribly surprised when he crashed into a tree.  He was surprised, however,  when the tree began swearing at him and picked him up.

"Gall and brimstone!  What the hell are you doing back?" Captain Hook growled as he grabbed the boy.

Slightly rubbed his eyes.  "Captain Hook?  What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first," Hook replied.  He tilted the boy's face upward and examined his swollen and bleeding lip.  "What happened?"

Slightly jerked his head away and looked down.  "Peter hit me.  He hates me… and so does everyone else."

Hook set the boy down and smiled.  "Does he, now?  Interesting."  He rubbed his chin with his hook and thought, _Well that worked out well, how best to proceed from here?_

"Slightly?" Billy called as he walked up to his friend.

"Jason," Slightly replied as the tears retured.  "Peter took my Lost Boy name and gave me my real name back."

"Which name do _you want to use?" Billy asked.  "I don't care what your name is, you're still my friend."_

Slightly felt a rush of gratitude and love for Billy, and he grabbed the boy and hugged him tight.  "Please, call me Slightly.  I don't ever want to be Jason again."

Billy felt a flush of embarrassment at being hugged in front of his shipmates, but he held Slightly back just as tightly.  He smiled at the boy when they broke the embrace.  "Why don't you come back to the ship and we'll talk.  Maybe I can do something to help."

Slightly shook his head, "No, how would that look if I go running back to the _Jolly Roger_?  It will just make Peter think he was right."

"Why should you care what he thinks?" Billy snapped.  "He doesn't care about you!  But _I do, and I'm not going to leave you here alone."_

Slightly looked at the other men standing around him.  "Billy?  Why _are you here?"_

Billy looked uncomfortable, but before he could speak, Hook spoke up.  "Forgive me, Master Slightly, but I was following you.  Since you couldn't fly, it gave me a unique opportunity to discover the home of Peter Pan," Hook said amiably.  

"You," Slightly gasped, "You followed me?"  He felt anger stir within him, and he welcomed it since it drove away the hurt.  "No wonder Peter thought I was a pirate!  He saw you were following me, and thought I was leading you there on purpose!"

_My, he's quick,_ Hook thought sarcastically, _I don't want him to guess that that was my intention the entire time._  Hook had nothing but benefits by following the boy.  If Peter rejected Slightly, it was one more hook he'd get in the child.  If Peter welcomed the brat, Hook would know where their home was.  But he'd hoped Pan would turn Slightly away – he could hurt Pan so much more, emotionally and physically, if he had Slightly as a weapon.  _And any wedge I put between the two must be done in secret._

"Don't be so naive," Hook admonished, "I told you:  I'm a pirate and I do nothing for free.  Because of your friendship with Mr. Jukes, I refrained from torturing the information out of you."  Hook looked at the boy critically.  "I also hoped you'd give me the location of your _former_ home willingly.  I do not understand how you can remain loyal after what they did to you."

Slightly shook his head, "That's because you don't know how to love."

Hook laughed, a pure genuine laugh of delight.  All the other men looked at their Captain in wonder and backed up a step.

"My dear, dear boy," Hook gasped as he wiped his eyes.  "I understand love better than most men.  I have loved deeply and passionately.  And everything I ever loved either died or turned against me.  Love is the source of every sorrow in my life.  I refuse to love anyone now, and no one can ever hurt me that way again."  He put his arm around Slightly.  "It is a lesson you would do well to learn while you're still young."

He grabbed the boy's arm and began walking back the way they came.  Slightly dug in his heels and tried to pull away, but he was dragged along behind the man.

"Let go of me!" Slightly yelled.

Hook yanked the boy up and glared at him.  "Come along willingly, boy, and it will go better for you.  It will make the difference between you becoming a boarder or a prisoner on my ship."  He smiled suddenly as an idea came to him.  "And if I haul you back as a prisoner, Mr. Jukes will be arrested, too, for fraternizing with the enemy.  I will not simply exile him, as Pan did to you.  I will hang him."

Jukes paled and he stared at his captain in horror.

Slightly felt panic well within him.  He didn't want to go – it would only convince everyone that he was a traitor.  He looked at Billy and saw the fear in the friend.  _Hook would do it.  He'd kill Billy._  Billy was the only one who still stuck by him.  "No need for threats, Captain," Slightly said and lowered his head.  "I'll come with you."

"And you will sign the contract I write up?" Hook asked.

"Yes, sir.  I'll do whatever you want.  Just don't hurt Billy."

"Slightly, no!" Billy yelled.  Promising something like that to Hook was dangerous, and the man would take the boy at his word.  "I can take care of myself."

Hook backhanded Jukes, and the boy stumbled as stars bloomed before him.  "Don't make me hang you right now," Hook snarled.  "I've been patient with you up till now.  I've been willing to overlook and forgive your treason so long as it never happens again.  Don't forget who owns you, Billy Jukes."

Billy regained his feet and look up at Hook.  "Ay, Captain," he answered softly, but his eyes burned with fury.

Hook smiled and released Slightly.  "Now that we understand each other a little better, we will continue.  I want to get our new boarder and future crewman settled in quickly."

Slightly looked at the other men, but none would look at him.  Only Mullins would even look at Billy and his eyes were unreadable.  _Billy would die for Mullins.  He stood up to Hook for him.  Maybe Mullins would do the same for Billy._  But the man only turned around and followed Hook.

"C'mon, Slightly," Billy said and took the boy's hand.  "Time to go home."  Together they followed Hook to the longboat.


	8. Jason

Chapter 8

Jason Slightly looked up quickly as a shadow passed over him.  He scanned the sky and the rigging above him, but he saw no one there.  _Please, please, don't come back, _he prayed.  Giving the sky another quick scan, he returned his attention to scrubbing the deck.

He dipped the brush in his bucket of soapy water and scrubbed furiously at yet another red spot on the deck.  Peter and the boys had raided the ship that morning.  They had mainly caused the usual confusion and mayhem by cutting the rigging and luring the pirates back and forth across the deck.  Slightly had stood apart and tried to remain unnoticed, but – as was becoming usual – he was the true target of the raid.  Peter had trapped Hook and the pirates below deck while the other Lost Boys surrounded Slightly.  Then they all had hurled the rotten Never-berries in their sacks at the hapless boy – as well as some hurtful jeers and insults.  Shortly after the boys had left, Slightly (dripping berry juice the entire way) had unlocked the hatch and let the crew out.

"Well, boy," Hook had growled after taking a hard look at him, "have you got anything to tell me now?"

Slightly had not even bothered to look up.  "No, Captain."

"Then I suggest you clean up your mess.  I want every trace of berry gone from my deck.  You'd better hurry – the longer it sets the harder it is to clean."

So Slightly had spent the entire day on his hands and knees, scrubbing at the juice stains on the desk.  He'd not even been allowed to eat lunch, and if he didn't finish soon, supper would be missed too.

Billy squatted down next to him and handed him a cup of water.  "You know if you just tell him where you used to live and where they might be now, things will go better.  You won't be his slave and they won't be able to hurt you like this anymore."

Slightly drained the cup and went back to scrubbing.  "No," he said simply.  Hook called him a boarder, and they had a nice neat little contract signed, but Slightly was really nothing more than a slave.  He worked from sunup to sundown, doing the most undesirable chores, and given only basic food, water and shelter in return.  Even if Slightly _could go back ashore, Hook would never allow it._

"They'll come back tomorrow and the day after, like they did yesterday and the day before.  And you'll have to clean up the mess every time."

"Like the Cap'n said," Slightly answered, "Their mess is my mess for as long as I keep their secrets.  Besides, there's lots of places they could be… if they actually moved in the first place.  It'd take a month to search them all."

"Hook would take a year if he needed it.  Tell him," Billy urged.  "You'd become a shipmate – a part of the family!  Hook would make you his cabin-boy, he is fond of you.  He's just pissed at you all the time 'cause he can't understand how you can still be so loyal.  Peter Pan and those brats aren't worth this."

"Yes, they are," Slightly snapped.  "I don't _want to be a pirate, Billy.  I want to be a Lost Boy.  I love Neverland and I don't want to leave."_

"I'm sorry, cully," Billy said as he stood up.  "But you've got to face the fact that Neverland doesn't love _you_ anymore."

Slightly stared at Jukes as the boy walked off.  "I know, I already have," he whispered.  _Not much longer and it will all be cleaned up._  He moved to the next stain and put some soap on it.  When he went to dip his brush in the bucket, he discovered it was gone.  "What the…" Slightly looked around frantically, and Nibs stepped out from behind a crate.

"What are you doing here," Slightly snapped, but he kept his head down.  "I'll get in trouble if they see you."

"You haven't told Hook anything?" Nibs asked quietly.

"Of course not!"

"Why not?" Nibs actually sounded surprised.

"Contrary to popular belief, I was telling the truth.  I'm not a traitor," Slightly replied, staring the boy in the eye.

"So why don't you run away?  You're not locked up or tied."

Slightly laughed, and Nibs felt alarmed at the utter hopelessness in the sound.  "I tried.  But like Billy said (and I'm sure you were eavesdropping), Neverland doesn't love me anymore.  I had a very malicious pixie explain it to me two weeks ago, last time I tried to set foot on the island.  She attacked me, called me a traitor and worse.  She almost killed me, Nibs."

Nibs looked shocked, and Slightly continued.  "Hook saved me and he carried me back to the ship.  But I heard what she called after us.  Every fairy in Neverland thinks I'm the most horrible person in Neverland, even worse than Hook, and I'm exiled.  If I set foot on the shore, every plant, animal, and fairy will attack me.  I haven't been back since.  I did try to swim ashore last week, to try again.  The mermaids grabbed me and tried to drown me.  Hook saw me jump and dove in after me.  He saved me again, hauled me back, then beat me for jumping ship."

"He beat you?" Nibs gasped.

Slightly shrugged, "Wasn't the first time.  Wasn't the last.  Go away, Nibs.  I'm supposed to give the alarm if I see any of you, and he'll whip me if he finds out I didn't."

Nibs ducked behind a crate, but kept whispering to him, "Does he hit you a lot?"

Slightly just shrugged again.  "Define a lot.  Not every day, and sometimes no more  than a couple of licks.  It depends on how much Peter pisses him off.  He takes your pranks out on me."

"And you have to clean up the mess we leave behind, because you won't tell him where you think we live?"

Slightly nodded.

"Where do you think we live?"

"My first guess would be that you never moved, you just had Twins make it so I couldn't open the trees and closed up the back door.  It's the most secure place.  Wendy most likely moved down with you.  She'd never live in the other places Peter would want to move to."

Nibs didn't reply, too shocked that Slightly had guessed correctly.

"Nibs, where's my bucket?" Slightly asked, fearing the answer.

"Curly had it – oh, no.  I'll stop him," Nibs whispered and slipped off.

But Captain Hook at that moment exited his cabin, intending to see if the day's work had changed the boy's mind.  The bucked of soapy, berry-stained water that was hanging above his door tipped over and doused the man, coloring his hair and shirt pink.

Slightly closed his eyes and began rattling off every swear word he'd learned so far on the ship.


	9. Left Behind

Chapter 9

"JASON!" Hook roared angrily as he shook the water off his head and wiped his eyes.

Slightly stood and quickly crossed the deck to stand before the man.  "Cap'n?"  He wasn't even surprised when he found himself hanging from the claw and nose to nose with Hook.

"I'm tired of this foolishness, Mr. Slightly," Hook growled.  Hook had taken to calling him Jason, and everyone but Billy followed suit.  He knew the old name pained the boy, and used it to remind him of Peter's betrayal.  Hook only called him Mr. Slightly when a beating was about to follow.  "You _will tell me all of Peter Pan's hideouts.  I'm convinced that my gentle treatment so far has been in vain, so your life is about to get much harsher.  Starting right now."  He pulled off his belt._

"Please, sir, don't," Slightly asked softly, but he knew from experience it wouldn't help.

Hook dropped the boy and began to belt him.  Slightly yelped and writhed, but he remained facedown on the deck.  Experience had also taught him the folly of rolling over.  Slightly's punishment was interrupted when an empty bucket hit Hook in the head.

"Leave him alone, Hook!" Nibs yelled from a yard-arm.  Curly and Tootles stood beside him, shocked expressions on their faces.

"Go away," Slightly moaned, "you'll make it worse."

Hook glared at the Lost Boys.  "Come down here, boy, and I'll give you young Jason's punishment.  I'm guessing that _you are the culprits for this little prank?"_

"I did it," Curly yelled.  "You shouldn't hit Slightly for it."

Hook grabbed Slightly and hauled him to his feet by his hair.  "Peter Pan threw this boy away for treason.  He's mine now.  And I won't have a pint-sized pipsqueak telling me how to treat _my_ property!"

Curly was about to protest, but Nibs cut him off.  He had an idea, but he had to make Hook think they didn't care.  "You're right.  Our apologies, Captain Hook.  I'd forgotten that Jason is a traitor; I was too upset at seeing an old friend hurt.  Do what you want, we don't care.  We'll see you later."

"But Nibs…" Tootles interrupted, confused and upset.

"No buts, Tootles," Nibs yelled.  "He's none of our concern any more.  Let's go."  He leapt into the air and flew off.  Reluctantly, the other two followed.

Slightly watched them leave.  He was relieved they were going – he didn't want them to gloat over how far he'd fallen.  But he was hurt by Nib's causal disregard.  _He doesn't care at all.  None of them do.  He'd managed to not cry while Hook had hit him, but now the tears wouldn't stop._

Hook knelt by the boy and wiped his eyes.  "You see?  They despise you.  Why do you still care for them?  Why do you make me hurt you, just to hide their secrets?"

Slightly stared at Hook.  He knew the man was pretending to care, that he was trying to manipulate him.  Part of him wanted to tell the man everything.  He wanted to belong somewhere, no longer an outcast shunned by everyone except Billy.  But he thought of Wendy – she'd always loved him and she reminded him vaguely of someone else who had loved him.  He thought of Michael, who was too young to understand any of this.  What would Hook do to them?  Michael was too small to be useful on the ship, so Hook would dispose of him, most likely.  And Wendy… he'd heard some of the bawdy stories Mason and Mullins liked to tell.  He didn't understand a tenth of it, but the thought of anyone treating Wendy like that made him sick.  He doubted Hook would stand for it, but he'd probably would kill her.  _No.  They've been unfair and cruel to me, but they don't deserve to die for it.  And if I betray them, Hook will kill them all._

"I owe Peter my life…" he whispered to himself, but Hook heard.  "He saved me from Him.  I'll die before I betray them."

Hook's face darkened.  "Don't think I won't arrange for that, Jason Slightly."

Slightly looked at Hook and he felt something within himself harden.  "I don't care anymore.  You can hurt me as much as you want, you bully, but I won't change my mind.  I won't let you use me to hurt them.  Catch them on your own.  I don't care.  I'm here.  I'll do my duties and take my licks.  Save us both a lot of time and effort:  kill me now and be done, or quit asking for something I'll never give you."

"You ungrateful little bastard," Hook whispered, his eyes blazing with fury.  He knocked the boy to the deck and began belting him again.  Slightly curled up and covered his head with his arms, but he wouldn't scream and he wouldn't cry.

_You can't hurt me anymore,_ he repeated in his mind over and over.  He willed himself to be somewhere else, and he let his mind go there.  He remembered a woman, remembered her holding him and humming softly as she smoothed away his hurts and his fears.  He felt his love for her and immersed himself in the memory.

"Cap'n!" Mullins yelled and grabbed the man's arm.  It earned him a small cut from the hook, but the interruption broke Hook's rage and made him step back.

Hook looked down at Jason, who had passed out on the deck.  The boy was covered in welts, some of which were bleeding.  _My God, what was I doing!_  Outwardly, the only sign of the shock he felt was a slight softening of his face.  "Make him comfortable, Mullins.  He excused from all duty until I say otherwise."

Mullins watched Hook as the man went to his cabin, then turned to the unconscious boy.  "Lad, yer never gonna learn.  Billy never gave me trouble like this.  'Course, Billy was more afraid of being marooned than beaten."  He picked Slightly up and carried him below.  "And Billy never deliberately tried ta get Hook to kill 'im."

Jukes was waiting below.  He was the one who had told Mullins that Hook was trying to beat Slightly to death, and he sighed in relief when the man returned with his friend.  He winced when he saw the welts on the boy's arms and legs.  "Will he be okay?"

"No," Mullins answered.  "He ain't gonna fit in on this ship, and sooner or later Hook's gonna kill 'im or he's gonna do it himself.  But he'll be fine fer now."  He laid Slightly on the table and began removing his shirt.  "Poor lad's been one big bruise since Hook pulled him outta the river.  He's got a whole bunch'a new ones to replace the ones that were fading."  Together, Mullins and Jukes did what they could to relieve the boy and put him in Billy's hammock.

"Where _you gonna sleep?" Mason asked gruffly when he came in for supper._

Billy sat at the table and glanced back at Slightly.  "I ain't never had a room of my own.  Think I'll try it tonight, see what it's like."

"Good!  Won't have ta listen to ya snorin'!" the big man ribbed.

"MY snoring!" Billy sputtered, "You saw louder in yer sleep that ya do with yer tools!"

The men laughed and joked as they ate their supper.  The noise woke Slightly, who lay still and listened to the men.  _They're rough, but they're friends for the most part.  Reminds me of home.  _He sighed and suppressed his sadness, remembering that it wasn't his home anymore.  Soon after, Billy walked over, carrying a bowl of stew.

"You ain't gonna want to move, but ya need to eat," the boy told him.

"I'm not hungry, Billy," Slightly answered.  

"Don't make me get Mullins.  Ever been force fed?" Billy half joked.

Slightly stared at Billy for so long it made the young gunner fidget.  "Is everyone on this ship a bully?  Why do you have to make people do things they don't want to do?"

"We're pirates," Billy said weakly.

"Yes, you are," Slightly nodded.  "I finally see that."  Slightly rolled over and faced the wall, leaving Billy to stare helplessly.

"I'm sorry, Slightly," he said finally.  "I'm sorry for everything.  It's my fault everyone found out.  It's my fault you got kicked out of your family.  I'm trying to make it easier for you, but you won't let me.  What am I supposed to do?"

"Just leave me alone, Billy.  I hurt inside and out and I just want to be alone.  Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore – apparently I'm a horrible person and a burden to be around.  You'll be happier without me pulling you down."

Billy was hurt.  "Fine.  I'll give you your space.  I'll be here if you ever decide to grow up and face reality."  He turned and went back to the table and the companionship of his mates.


	10. A Knife in the Dark

Chapter 10

"Hook has pink hair?" Peter exclaimed, eyes shining with delight.  "This I have _got_ to see!"  He leapt into the air and went to fly out the door of the underground house.  He jerked back with a cry when Wendy grabbed his pony-tail and pulled him to a halt.

"Will you sit down and listen for once?" she snapped angrily.  "Nibs was saying something about Slightly."

Peter pulled himself free, but returned to the circle of boys.  "There is no Slightly," he answered sullenly.  He very much wanted to go because he didn't want to hear the rest.  But Wendy had been cross with him a lot lately, and he didn't want to provoke her further.

"Jason, Slightly, he's the same person," Tink scolded.  "Changing his name doesn't make him a different person, no matter how much you want to pretend it does."

Peter's face darkened and he narrowed his eyes.  Tink had been cross with all the boys lately, too, especially with Peter.  It was good to see Wendy and Tink finally getting along, but not when they ganged up on him. _No more girls allowed in Neverland,_ he swore softly as he sat back down.  "Alright!  Fine!  So what about _Slightly_?"

Nibs recounted his conversation with the ex-Lost Boy.  Everyone gasped in concern when Slightly guessed where they lived, but they agreed with Nibs – if Slightly was a pirate, why hadn't Hook come for them already?

"But it's worse, Peter," Nibs said carefully, trying to keep his voice from shaking.  "Hook's beating Slightly."

"What?" Peter said lowly, his face becoming hard.

"He didn't even ask about the bucket.  He just called for Jason and began whipping him with a belt.  He said something about making his life worse unless he told him your secrets.  Slightly didn't even fight or try to get away, he just laid there and let Hook hit him.  We stopped him, though.  Tootles hit Hook with the bucket.  I – I didn't want to make it worse for Slightly by getting Hook madder, so I pretended like we didn't care and came back to tell you.  Slightly's given up… he can't escape because all the creatures in Neverland attack him if he tries to get to shore.  So he just lets Hook hurt him."

Peter's face was stone, but inside he quaked with fury.  Memories flashed – memories of a little boy named Jason being beaten and worse by a man; a woman covered in blood; a canvas sack sinking in a river, a small shape fighting to get out.  "No," he said softly.  "I don't care if Slightly really joined Hook or not, I'm not going to let any grown-ups hurt him ever again… I promised him that.  Never again!  Hook has no right to lay a hand on him."

Suddenly Peter frowned as he thought of the last think Nibs had said.  "Tink, why is everyone attacking Slightly?  I didn't tell anyone to do that."

"I didn't know either, Peter," Tink said slowly, upset at that information herself.  "But you and Neverland are connected.  You were angry and hurt, and Neverland felt it.  I suppose they took it out on the person who made you feel that way.  Maybe they felt that if they kept Slightly away, then you wouldn't feel like that anymore."

"Well, make sure everyone knows that Slightly goes wherever he wants.  And anyone who hurts him will answer to me."  Peter stood quickly and looked around.  "I'm taking Slightly away from Hook, tonight when the pirates are all asleep.  He can live with us again, or with the Indians – we'll see.  Nibs, Curly, get ready.  You're my strongest fliers, so you're with me.  This is a rescue, not a raid, and we need to be quiet.  I'll reckon with Hook once Slightly is safe."

Billy shivered and pulled the blanket around himself tighter.  _I don't care what Hook says, I'm putting him a hammock up with us.  This is ridiculous!  How does he get any sleep?_  Billy lay in Slightly's "room" on the boy's pallet.  It was in the bowels of the ship, the hull comprising one wall.  It was cold, refrigerated by the seawater against the hull.  It was small and dank, and the bedding consisted of a few ratty blankets and some old half-rotten nets.

Billy had been in here before, but not since Slightly had moved in.  The crew, especially Billy, were not allowed to fraternize with Slightly off duty, to further motivate the "border" to betray Pan and join the crew.  _If he'd told me what he'd scrounged up for a bed, I'd have given him my own hammock and slept on the table._  Billy sighed, and rolled over, trying to find a position that wasn't painful.  _I should have asked him.  I've tried to watch out for him, but Hook keeps us so far apart it's difficult to know what's going on with him._

Billy froze when he heard a scraping at the door.  There was a squeal of the hinges and soft footfalls.  It was pitch black down here, so Billy used his ears to guess that more than one person had just walked in.

"Tink, a little light.  We need to check this room too," came the whispered voice of Pan.

Billy narrowed his eyes and covered his head, peeking out of the blanket as a dim glow revealed Pan, Nibs, and Curly standing in the doorway.  Tinker Bell was in a small pouch Pan carried, and he had opened it enough to see what was in the room.  

_Why can you just leave him alone?  You torment him all night, too?_  Anger filled Billy and he readied himself.  _If I give Pan to Hook, he'll give Slightly to me… and he won't have any reason to hurt my friend any more._

"Slightly?" Peter whispered when he saw the blanket covered lump.  He motioned for the other two to stay out of the cramped room, then walked to the boy on the floor.  He sat by the pallet and put his hand on the lump.  "Slightly, wake up.  It's Peter.  I've…"

Suddenly, a sharp pain filled his head when the boy jumped up and punched him.  Peter fell over, dazed, and felt a knife pressed against his throat.  "Slightly?" he breathed in shock.__

Billy held Pan close to his chest and pressed the dagger, just breaking the skin of the boy's neck.  He felt a bit of disbelief at how easy that had just been – stunning Pan and drawing the brat's own dagger.  He winced a bit as Tinker Bell flew out of the pouch on the floor, blinding everyone with the sudden light.

"PAN!" Billy screamed.  "PETER PAN DOWN HERE!  TWO LOST BOYS AND THE PIXIE!  PAN'S HERE!"  He felt Peter tense up, and he tightened his hold.  "Don't move, cully," he growled.  "I'd love to kill ya myself for everything you've done to Slightly.  But Hook would beat me for robbing him of the pleasure… might be worth it though, if it gives Slightly some peace in his life."

Peter forced himself to relax a bit as the knife dug painfully into his neck.  "RUN!" he shouted to the two boys.  "Tink, FLY!"

Tinker Bell hesitated a moment, then brightened her glow ten-fold, blinding the humans in the room.  She zoomed towards Jukes and tossed a handful of dust in his face.

"Shit!" Billy exclaimed as he breathed in the stuff.  He felt the sneeze build and fought it, but to no avail.  As he sneezed, he felt Pan twist out of his grip.  "NO!" Billy yelled and lunged forward blindly with the knife.  The blade connected and sank into flesh, and Billy heard a scream, followed by a thud as a body hit the floor.

"Peter!" Tink cried, dimming her light as she blanched in fear.  She flew down to the boy in panic.

Billy opened his eyes as the light dimmed, and gasped in shock when he saw Pan lying on his back with the dagger in his abdomen.  There was a commotion in the corridor, and Smee and Starkey were at the door.

"We got the other two – by Davy Jones," Starkey gasped when he saw Peter Pan on the floor.

"Mr. Smee, check on him," Billy snapped, flushed with anxiety.  _Don't let him die till the Cap'n gets here!_  "Mr. Starkey, go get the Cap'n, quick!"

Peter stared at the ceiling, in too much shock to move.  "It hurts, Tink," he breathed.  The blade was like molten fire in his belly.  He saw Mr. Smee over him, and Mr. Jukes too.  "You stabbed me," he moaned, "Please, take it out."

Smee shook his head, "Not yet, lad.  It might make ya bleed worse.  Wait fer th' Cap'n."

_Hook!_ Peter thought in panic.  He didn't stand a chance now.  He was going to die, and Hook still had Slightly.  Then he saw the looming face of Captain Hook staring down at him with a smile.  _No, it's not fair.  I'm supposed to win._

"I sincerely hope he isn't dying, Mr. Jukes," the man said as he cut open Peter's shirt and helped Smee make a quick exam.

"It was an accident, Cap'n," Billy said softly.

Peter moaned as he was jostled by the hurried, fumbling hands.  "Please, take it out," he cried, "It hurts."

Finished with the check, Hook patted Peter on the shoulder.  "Alright, boy," he answered.  He took a handful of rags from Starkey and laid them to the side.  "Hold on, this my sting a bit."  Hook yanked the dagger out and began pressing on the wound.  "See?  That wasn't so bad," he chided mockingly, looking back at Peter's face.  The boy's eyes were closed, but by the gentle rise and fall of the boy's chest, Hook knew Pan had only fainted.


	11. Short

Chapter 11

Slightly watched woodenly as he saw Nibs and Curly marched by, hands bound behind their backs.  Neither boy looked up at him, but Curly was crying.  Mason had his cutlass out, using it to guide them to the brig.  The other pirates followed, then Smee and Starkey walked by bearing a litter.  Peter lay upon it, pale and still in the lamplight.  Blood stained the bandage on his stomach.  Hook followed the litter, a smile on his face and his arm around Billy's shoulders.  Tink was in his fist.  

The Captain paused by Slightly, who was sitting up in his hammock.  "Ah, Jason!  This is a glorious night!  Peter Pan is mine!"

Slightly just shrugged, knowing better than to look concerned.  "Good.   Maybe now I won't have to clean up any berries in the morning."  He ignored Tink's squeak of protest and laid back down.

Hook chuckled, "Jason, my boy, that's the spirit.  Provided Pan doesn't die of his wound, we shall have an execution as soon as he's fit."  He clapped Billy on the back, "Good work, Mr. Jukes.  You've made me proud."  Humming happily, Hook left the two boys alone.

Slightly sighed when everyone else was gone.  "What happened?"

Billy told Slightly everything that had occurred.  "I couldn't see.  I didn't know he'd stopped and turned around.  Maybe he couldn't see either.  But I stabbed him."

"Is he going to be alright?" Slightly kept his face impassive, to act as if he didn't care.  It was easier to stay sane if he didn't care.  But no matter how much he pretended, he still felt the fear and worry gnawing him inside.  _Peter can't die!  I have to help him.  Play it calm, the pirates don't trust me either._

"I botched it.  Good thing I wasn't aiming to kill him, or I'd have to be ashamed.  Cap'n and Smee are pretty sure I missed anything important, so there's no worries there.  But he's bleeding a lot.  Cap'n's gonna sit with him until it stops, in case Pan dies.  Says he wants to be there if he does."

"Congratulations, Billy," Slightly said, "You're back in Hook's good graces."

Billy sighed and climbed into Mullins's hammock… tonight the man wouldn't mind.  "I just hope they were here to mess with you.  If they came to take you home, I'll never forgive myself."

"I thought you wanted me here," Slightly said sharply.  _Great, even Billy is sick of me now.  What did I do this time?_

"I do!" Billy reassured his friend.  "But Mullins is right, you don't belong here.  Either Hook will kill you, or you'll do yourself.  I'm worried about you, you're not doin' so good here.  If there's anyway to get you off this ship, I'll find it."

Slightly said nothing, just closed his eyes to sleep.  _Hook will be in the brig for now, so I can't help them.  Rest now, maybe I won't hurt as much later and I'll be able to move better.  He didn't think he'd get any sleep, but within minutes he was lost to his dreams._

Hook sat in the brig in a chair by the cot.  Pan was still out, but the bleeding had slowed.  He didn't think the boy would die, but he wasn't going to be exerting himself anytime soon.  The other two boys lay in the corner on a pile of hay, curled up together under a blanket.  They'd been very quiet and afraid for their leader.  Now they slept fitfully, too upset to allow themselves to fully relax into sleep.

Hook sighed and changed the rags again.  _Yes, it's stopping.  He should be fine… fine enough for what I've got planned for him.  Hook wanted the boy fit for his execution; he just wasn't quite decided on how he was going to kill him.  "One more thorn in your side, boy," he said softly as he bound the wound again.  "Jason should come visit you tomorrow."  He finished the bandage, brushed the hair from the unconscious boy's face, and left, locking the cell behind him.  He hung the small iron cage with the pixie in it on the opposite wall, ignoring her questions and pleadings.  Smiling still, he went to his own bed to sleep._


	12. Twisting the Knife

Chapter 12

Peter awoke to the sound of his name being called.  He frowned, then felt a jolt of panic when he realized it was Hook's voice that called to him.  He tried to sit up, but a firm hand held him down.

"I did not sit up all night with you to stop your bleeding just to have you reopen your wound today," the man snapped.  Inwardly, he smiled to see the boy had some life left in him.

Peter opened his eyes and saw Hook sitting in a chair close beside him.  On the man's knee sat Slightly, with Hook's claw arm around his waist.  Hook withdrew his hand and smiled.

"Good morning, Peter," he said happily.  "Tell Peter 'good morning', Jason."

Slightly stared at Peter expressionlessly.  "Morning, Peter," he said simply.

Peter stared back at Slightly.  He could see the marks and bruises on the boy's arms and legs.  He recognized the look in the boy's eyes and felt despair.  "Slightly…"

"His name is Jason, boy," Hook snapped.  "As you said, Slightly is dead.  As a matter of fact, as soon as you're strong enough for the party, I'm making Jason a full member of my crew, following that with your execution.  But he needs a last name.  Unless you can remember that, too, I was thinking of calling him Jason Hook.  How does that sound, Jason?"

"I don't care, sir," Slightly replied.  "Call me what you want and I'll answer."  His eyes tightened in anger for a moment, but only Peter saw that reaction.  Then the mask was back in place.

"I think Jason's apathy will disappear in time.  He's had such a horrible time these past four weeks.  Once I kill you, Pan, the source of all his pain will be gone.  I'll have no reason to beat him when he no longer protects your secrets.  He really is a hard worker, and he doesn't whine."  Hook patted the boy's head and stroked his hair lovingly.  "His heart has already turned to stone.  He'll make a wonderful pirate.  Stubborn, too.  I never could get him to betray you… loyalty like that is priceless.  With you gone, I hope he places that loyalty with me."

Slightly closed his eyes for a moment, then leaned back against Hook's chest.  "Whatever you want, Captain.  I don't care anymore.  But I don't want to watch the execution after my swearing in."

Hook hugged the boy and set him on his feet.  "Go play with Billy.  I meant it when I said I was sorry for hurting you so badly yesterday.  Enjoy your day of rest – you don't have to fear Pan or me today."

Slightly stared at Peter a moment longer, then glanced at the two boys bound and gagged in the corner.  "Ay, Cap'n," he said and gingerly walked out of the brig.

"I hate you," Peter snarled at Hook.  "I'm going to kill you for what you've done to Slightly."

"What I did to Jason?" Hook asked innocently.  "The wounds I've given him are physical and will heal quickly, no more than bruises and a few welts, really."  He leaned forward and waved his hook in Peter's face.  "But perhaps I should punish you for what _you_ did to Jason.  The petty torments you heaped on him deepened the wounds you gave him when you threw him away.  Those wounds are in his soul, and those wounds are slow to heal.  Many people will give themselves physical pain to distract them from their spiritual pain.  Jason hasn't had to do that yet, and with you gone he won't have to."

Suddenly, Hook laughed.  "You really are pathetic.  You act so noble, pretending to be the good pitted against my evil.  You have your friends that love you and that you say you love.  But you are ready in an instant to dispose of them at the hint that they aren't exclusively _yours.  Billy and Slightly were friends, but I found out at the same time you did.  Never once did Billy tell me anything Slightly may have told him.  But you didn't even consider that it was an innocent friendship.  You just assumed he was guilty, that by befriending one pirate, he'd befriended us all.  You exiled him.  And then you tried to murder him by pushing him over the falls."_

"I did not!" Peter yelled, causing his stomach to hurt more.  He ignored it, "I tried to save him, but he slipped."

Hook chuckled, "That's what young Slightly insisted when I brought him here.  But I planted the seeds of doubt, and later I let him return to you to watch them grow.  When he became this Jason child again, it was easy to convince him you wanted him dead.  I played you both like keys on my harpsichord.  I brought him here when he was too weak to get away.  I knew you were eavesdropping, so I made conversations seem like he had betrayed you.  You fell for it so easily, I couldn't believe it.  And when you never came to free Slightly, it was easy to convince the poor, lonely little boy that you and your friends hated him.

"He wouldn't give up before then.  He'd insisted on going back to you as soon as he was well.  So I let him go and followed him.  I figured that either he'd unwitting lead me to you, or you'd see me following and assume the boy was taking me there.  If you truly had been his friend, you would have considered that he didn't know I was there."  Hook smiled sweetly, "And the reception you gave him – bravo, Pan!  I couldn't have hurt him that much if I tried."

Peter stared at Hook, stunned by the man's recount.  Put that way, Peter saw that he'd behaved like a monster.  _No wonder Slightly's died inside… I killed him myself._

But Hook wasn't finished yet.  He saw the pain in Pan's face as he realized what he'd done, and it gave him exquisite pleasure.  "I used his friendship with Jukes to force him to come back.  Seems he didn't want his last friend in the world to be hung.  A few days later, I tried to take him ashore, to force him to lead me to you.  Imagine the look on his face when the very island itself rejected him.  That was the second time I saved his life.  Those damned pixies are a lot stronger than they look.  He'll have a nice scar on his back forever.  Then a week after that, the mermaids try to drown him, and I saved him a third time.  So Jason had no place to be but my ship.  And nearly every day his former friends – friends he still inexplicably loved – came to torment him and give him a fresh reminder of what he'd lost."  

Hook sighed and looked at the door.  "He really does miss flying.  And he's grown a good half-inch in this past month."  He looked back at Peter, who was openly crying. "I thank you for giving me a new crewman.  I'll care for him more than you did – actually that should be easy since you never really did care.  I won't force him to watch you die, but I think it would make him feel better."

"I hate you," Peter sobbed as he tried to sit up.  Hook held him down again and tested the ropes on his wrists and ankles.

"Don't sit up without help, Peter.  You'll bleed to death.  You can't get off the cot anyway, you're tied.  I'll leave you to your rest, trust me you'll need it. I've decided to make you walk the plank and feed the croc.  I don't want to have to toss you over myself, but I will if I have to."  Hook stood and left the brig.

Peter turned his head to look at the two boys in the corner.  "I was wrong, and I hurt my oldest friend.  If I don't get the chance, tell Slightly I said I'm sorry."  Death was very real to him right now, the burning in his belly and the weakness in his limbs proving to him that he wasn't invincible after all.

Nibs and Curly nodded slowly.  Curly tired to say something reassuring, but the mumbles around the gag in his mouth were indecipherable.  Peter looked away and silently cried himself to sleep.


	13. Checkmate

Chapter 13

"Billy," Slightly whispered to his friend across the chess board.  He and Billy had learned to play while he convalesced in the brig.  He liked it, but right now his heart wasn't in the game and he only went through the motions.

"Hmm?" Billy glanced up after he moved his knight.

"Is there another key to the brig?"

Billy looked at his friend sharply.  "No, Hook's wearing the only one.  He got rid of the copies a long time ago, since the men kept getting tricked into opening the doors for Pan."

"I suppose Tink could pick the lock, if she got loose," Slightly mumbled and absently moved another piece.  "She's good at that."

"_If she got loose," Billy glanced around.  "Cully, what are you thinking?"_

Slightly smiled.  "I'm thinking that I don't care about myself anymore, but I do care about my friends down there.  I won't live with myself if I let them die.  Hook will kill me if I let them loose.  I've made my choice."

Billy sighed, "You'd better make sure they take you with them when you go."

"I'm not going," Slightly replied.

Billy almost dropped his rook, "Why not?"

"Peter can't fly.  Even if Nibs can handle Peter by himself, Curly's not strong enough to carry me.  He'll most likely need to help Nibs anyway."

"Pixie dust," Billy reminded, "The fairy's here."

Slightly shook his head, "I don't think I'll find a happy thought.  I can't feel much of anything right now, which is why I haven't killed both Hook and Peter yet.  It's safer if I don't feel anything for now.  If I can do it, I'll fly away, but I'm not counting on it."

"How can you turn your feelings off like that?"

Slightly looked up and stared at Billy, and the deadness of his eyes made Billy's heart skip.  "Jason had lots of practice, and I'm remembering more of who I was once.  Peter saved me from that, so I could live and be happy again.  That's why I have to help him.  He's been a total ass lately, but he saved my life and my soul once long ago.  I owe him this much.  I don't want you to help me.  I don't want anyone else I love to get hurt.  Make sure Hook knows you're on deck the whole time."  Slightly moved his queen, "Checkmate."

Hook heard his name being called and turned around.  Jason stood behind him, nursing a bloody nose.  "What happened to you?" he asked in surprise.  

"Billy's a sore loser," Jason muttered, glancing back.

Hook looked at Jukes, who was sitting on the deck, holding his jaw.  "Did he lose twice?"

Jason nodded, then his eyes crossed and he passed out.  Hook knelt down by the boy.  "JUKES!" he yelled, "What's going on?"

Billy ran up and looked down at Jason.  "He cheated, and I said so.  He sucker punched me, so I hit him back.  He knocked me down and went running to you.  He's being a brat… is he going to be alright?"

Hook called for Mullins to take the boy below.  "He'll be fine when we leave Neverland.  He's been under too much stress.  Let him sleep for now, it's his big day today."

Slightly opened his eyes a crack when he heard Mullins leave.  Once he verified he was alone, he sat up and climbed out of the hammock.  Billy had done a better job of busting his nose than he'd hoped, and it throbbed painfully.  _I'm lucky he didn't break it, I guess.  Slightly had needed a reason to be left alone below, and this was the best he'd come up with.  _Finally, something went right.  I hope my luck holds; I'm overdue for a good streak.__

Quietly, Slightly slipped down the corridor and soon made his way to the brig.  He grabbed a crate and pushed it under Tink's cage, then climbed up and plucked it from the wall.

"Slightly?" Tink whispered.  "What are you doing?"

Slightly didn't answer.  He broke the small lock on the cage with Billy's knife and opened the door.  "Can you pick the lock on the cell door?"

"I'll try," she replied and flew over to the cell.  She reached inside the keyhole and began moving the mechanisms, muttering to herself.

Slightly stood nearby and looked into the cell.  Nibs and Curly were sitting up and staring.  Peter was asleep again, and he looked worse.  With a muffled cry of delight, Tink sprang the lock.  Slightly pulled the door open and quickly went to the two in the corner.  Soon, both boys' ropes were cut and the gags removed.

"Slightly!  Thank you!" Curly gasped and reached for the boy.

Slightly jumped back and brought the knife up.  "Don't touch me.  Help me with Peter."

Confused, Nibs and Curly shrugged to each other and did what Slightly asked.  Slightly made quick work of the ropes and they gently lifted the injured boy from the cot.

"You'll have to carry him.  Go straight to Chief Big Little Panther.  He's still bleeding inside, his stomach is swelling up.  Panther can help him."

"You're coming with us," Nibs insisted.

"No, I'm making sure they don't shoot you down while you escape.  Tink can dust me if she wants, but I don't think I can fly."

Nibs stared at Slightly, wanting to say something, to come up with a better idea to get them all away.  But he saw what Slightly saw:  there was no way they could carry both Peter and him.  "Find another way to get off this ship.  No one on the island will harm you now.  Well come back for you, in case you don't get away."

Slightly shrugged, "It doesn't matter, but I'll try.  Follow me."

With Peter's arms around their shoulders, Curly and Nibs followed Slightly to the step leading up to the hatch.

"Wait here.  Hook's wanting a party tonight, so everyone is cleaning or cooking," Slightly instructed.  "No-one should find you down here, not for awhile.  Wait here for my signal, then fly for Peter's life."

Before either boy or Tink could ask what the signal was, Slightly climbed the ladder and stepped out on deck.  Without looking around, he crossed the deck and headed for Long Tom.  _Billy's gonna hate me._  Along the way, he snagged the bucket of mop water that Smee was using.  Without pausing an instant, Slightly poured the dirty, soapy water down the mouth of the cannon.

"By Blackbeard's barnacles, what do you think you're doing?"  Hook bellowed when he saw Slightly foul the cannon.  He dashed towards the boy, who took off running away from the hatch.  "Catch him!" he yelled, and every man began chasing Slightly.

"FLY!" Slightly yelled when he ran out of room to run.

Hook heard the cry and realized his error.  He spun around just in time to see the two boys fly up, Peter hanging limply between them.  "NO!" he screamed and took a step towards the cannon.  He stopped an instant later, remembering that Slightly had just rendered it useless.  He turned back to face the boy and saw Tinker Bell hovering over the child, throwing pixie dust on him.

"Go, Tink," Slightly said softly as he strained to lift off the deck.  "I'll swim if I can.  Go to Peter."

Tink nodded and flew after the other three boys.  Slightly gripped the railing and pulled himself up.  Before he could jump over, someone grabbed him and yanked him back onto the deck.

"Well, shit," Slightly muttered when he was lifted to stare into Hook's smoldering eyes.  He'd never seen the man so angry.  "I'm dead."  He wasn't terribly upset at the thought.

"Yes, you are," Hook growled, shaking with anger.  "After all the consideration I gave you, Mr. Slightly, you repay me like this.  I had Pan, wounded and caged, completely at my mercy.  Why did you assist him?  After all he's done to you, why?"

"I died a long time ago.  Peter gave me life," Slightly replied as he began searching for that far-away place.

"And I'll give you an exquisite death," Hook promised.  "Any last words?"

Jason's eyes dulled and his face became stone as he sought the words to drive Hook beyond rage.  "Checkmate."


	14. Pain and Remembrance

"Release me, you insolent curs, or I'll keel-haul ya 'till your bones have barnacles!" Hook roared, fighting the three men that were pinning him to the mast.  Mason, Mullins and Cookson strained as hard as they could, but Hook was gaining ground on them.

"God damn it, Cap'n!" Mullins snarled, "ain't none of us gonna stand fer watchin' ya do any more to Jason.  If yer gonna kill 'em, do it and be done!"

"Billy!  We got the key!" Mason yelled and tossed it backwards.  "Take the lad to th' brig!"  Starkey caught the key and squatted beside Jukes.

"I'm scared to touch 'im," Billy sobbed, looking down at his friend.

Starkey removed his cape and draped it over the bleeding boy.  "I know it looks bad and it hurts him, but he'll live," he reassured his mate.  _I hope I'm right._  "But we've got to get him locked away, or the Cap'n'll finish him."  Gingerly, Starkey lifted Slightly up.  Though his eyes were open, Slightly only groaned from the pain as he was moved.  _I think the lad's in shock.  He may die on us after all._  Together, Starkey and Jukes ran to the brig and laid Slightly in the middle of the cell, out of reach.

Billy stayed within and shut the door when Starkey stepped out.  "Lock it and give me the key!"  They could hear shouts and curses and knew Hook was loose again.  Starkey didn't argue; he did as Billy ordered and took off, not wanting to be trapped in the brig with Hook when the man found his prey was safe.

Moments later, Hook strode within the brig.  He went straight to the cell door and shook the bars angrily.  "Open this cage, Jukes, and I'll kill you quickly."

Billy sat in the middle of the cell and held Slightly against his chest.  "No, sir, Cap'n.  Not till you calm down.  Yer in a rage.  I'll kill Slightly myself first."  With tears coursing down his cheeks, Billy put his dagger to his friend's throat.

"Lemme die," Slightly moaned.  "Please lemme die."

Billy began sobbing and rocked the boy gently.  "I hate you, Cap'n."

Hook held onto the bars for support as the red haze left his mind and he truly saw the two children in the cage.  He saw Jason lying in Billy's arms, begging the boy to kill him.  His shirt was shredded, only a few tatters of cloth hanging together, and those were spotted with blood.  His chest and arms were crisscrossed with dozens of whip cuts.  Blood streaked his skin and the boy seemed to have difficulty breathing.

Hook looked down at the cat he was holding.  Its tassels were red with the boy's blood.  "What have I done?" he whispered, alarmed.  "How many times did I hit him?"

"You gave 'im more than Flint gave me," Billy sobbed.

"I didn't tell," Jason suddenly cried staring at Hook wildly.  "Daddy, I didn't tell our secret!  Please stop!"  He writhed in Billy's arms and screamed.  "MOMMY!  Please don't hurt my mommy!"  Blood frothed his lips.

"Happy?" Billy shouted.  "He screamed for you!  You said you'd keep whipping and kicking him until he screamed."

Hook stared in shock.  He remembered when he'd started flogging the boy, but everything was vague after that.  He didn't remember kicking him, or making that awful promise.

Slightly calmed and his eyes began to focus again.  "I'm tired, Billy.  Let me go."

"Jason…" Hook called.

Slightly looked at the man and felt nothing.  "Jason's daddy killed him.  Killed him and his mommy.  Put us in sacks and threw us in the river."  He closed his eyes, remembering everything now.  "Peter Pan went fishing and caught me.  The Indians and the fairies fixed me and made me forget, but now you broke me again and I remember."

"Why did your father try to kill you?" Hook asked, horrified.

Slightly began to shake, "I can't tell.  Daddy made me promise.  Mommy saw and he killed her.  Peter saw and that's why Peter killed my Daddy."  _It doesn't matter.  I don't care,_ he repeated to himself until it all slowly began to go away.  He relaxed and let himself fade away.

"Lost Boys!" came a call from above.  Hook glanced up, but his appetite for fighting these children was gone.  _I'm not hurting Jason anymore.  I think I finally understand his undying loyalty to Pan.  I will _not_ punish him further, and I wish to God I'd let him drown that day._  He looked at Jukes regretfully, "Let them take him, if that's what they came for."  When Billy nodded, he left and went on deck.

"That's enough!" he yelled, bringing the battle to a halt.  "My men will stand down.  I want Jason off my ship!"  Ignoring the shocked expressions from man and boy alike, Hook went to his cabin and slammed his door.

Nibs looked at Mason in wonder. 

"He's in th' brig," the man said and turned away.

"Thanks," Nibs replied and flew below, followed by his boys.  When they reached the brig, the stared at the two boys in the cell.  Billy still held Slightly, and he kept the blade pressed to his neck.

"Don't, Mr. Jukes," Curly said softly.  "Please don't kill him."

"He wants me to," Billy answered.  He looked at the Lost Boys angrily, "Why do you care?  If you ever really cared about him, you'd do it, too."

"He needs help.  We'll take him to the Indians and the Chief will fix him," Nibs reasoned.  "Please Billy.  We were wrong about him, and we've all hurt him.  Give us a chance to make it up to him.  Don't let him die thinking that we hate him."

"Don't you?" Billy snapped.

"NO!" the boys replied at once.

"How could you treat him like that?" Billy growled, pressing the knife harder.  "Every time you came, you killed another piece of his heart.  Do you have any idea how much you hurt him?"

"We thought he'd turned on us," Nibs answered.  "Do you know how much it hurt us to hear him and Hook talking like friends?  To think he'd gone so far to your side that he'd give us up?  The he'd let Hook kill us?"  He watched nervously as a drop of blood rolled down the blade as it slightly pierced the skin.

"He didn't.  Hook set him up and you fell for it," Billy snapped.  "You abandoned Slightly so fast he didn't even have time to realize what had happened before the Cap'n caught him.  And then he didn't have a choice about coming here."

"We know, Hook told us this morning," Nibs said sadly.  "Slightly's acting wrong.  He needs help.  Let us fix him."

Billy stared at the boys outside the bars.  "Fix him?" he whispered.  _What could possibly fix this? Even if he heals, he'll never be the same._  "You really don't understand, do you," he said softly, shaking his head.  He looked back down at Slightly's sleeping face.  "I'll let ya go, cully.  I couldn't help you before, but I will now."  He braced himself to slide the blade across his friend's throat, but he couldn't follow through and do it.  In frustration and anger, he threw the knife away and kissed his friend on the forehead.

"I'm sorry, Slightly," he whispered as he laid him down.  He went to the door and unlocked it.  "Take him.  If someone can help him, I'll give him the chance to get better."

The boys entered the cell.  Nibs gasped when he got a better view of Slightly's wounds.  "Hook did this?"

"Try not to touch him," Billy suggested, wiping his eyes.  "If one of you each grabs a corner, you can carry him in that blanket."  He pointed to the cot where Peter had lain.  Working carefully, the Lost Boys made the sling and put Slightly within.  When he was settled, they lifted him up and carried him away from the ship.


	15. Hook's Questions

"When will he wake up?" Peter asked Chief Panther softly.  He lay on a pallet in the healing tent with Slightly, and together he and the Chief watched the boy twitching and muttering in his sleep.

"I do not know," the shaman relied.  "My medicine dulls the pain and helps him to sleep, but he should be able to awaken.  Perhaps his soul is tired and requires more rest.  Perhaps he just does not wish to recover."

"Like when he was Jason," Peter whispered, "and the old shaman made him forget, so he was all new when he woke up."  Peter smiled faintly as the memory came forth this time.  "When I showed him the sack and told him I'd found him in it, he read the name on the tag and said it must be his name.  But it was just a laundry bag.  Chief Two Bears said to let him keep the new name and never say the old one again."

"We may have to clear his mind again, if Captain Hook has damaged him too much."

Peter nodded.  "Whatever is best for him.  I just want him to be happy again, but we'll see how he is when he wakes up.  I hope he doesn't hate me too much."

"It would be best for you and Slightly to talk and forgive, so that this does not burden your hearts further.  Even if he is made to forget this, the sadness may come on him at times if it is not resolved first."  Panther turned to face Peter again.  "Drink your medicine and lie back down.  I have told you not to sit up."

Peter grimaced, dreading the bitter taste of the liquid Panther made him take.  But his stomach was hurting again, so he obeyed and drank the stuff quickly.  "I'm tired of sleeping so much.  I want to go play."

Panther chuckled at the boy, "Because of the pixie's magic, you and your friends heal faster than normal.  You will be able to get up and play in a week, perhaps two if you keep sitting up and aggravating your wound."

Peter yawned and smiled as the drink took effect and he began to drift off to sleep.  "Is that why you drug me?  So I won't get up?"

"Of course," Panther replied.  He pulled the blanket over the boy and left them to sleep.

Peter pulled himself awake much later.  Something was wrong, and he knew he had to open his eyes.  After an eternity, he succeeded and saw that there was a long slit in the side of the tent.  _Oh, crap, he thought and turned his head.  Hook was sitting on the ground between the pallets, watching him._

"Pan," Hook said lowly, "it took you long enough to wake up."  He sniffed the cup that had been sitting beside the boy.  "This must be powerful medicine.  It is medicine, I gather?  I hope I haven't driven you to drinking."

"You'd better kill me now, Hook," Peter growled, "or I'll kill you when I'm well.  How could you do it?  How could you try to kill him like that?  I knew you were evil, but to try to whip someone to death…"  Peter felt his anger rising and didn't finish his thought.

Hook looked at Slightly, and his eyes softened just a bit.  "I don't know.  I intended to flog him as punishment, perhaps hang him later for treason.  But he goaded me and pushed me into a blind rage.  I don't remember doing this to him."  He shook his head, "I'm glad my crew found the backbone to stop me."  He reached for Slightly, but when his hand touched the boy's shoulder Slightly moaned and pulled away.

"Leave him alone," Peter warned and tried to sit up.  But the stinging in his stomach warned him of the folly of doing that.  He was relieved to see that Hook withdrew his hand and turned back to him.  "What do you want?" he asked as he began feeling around for his dagger.

"Ultimately, I want my revenge, Pan," Hook replied.  "But right now, I just want answers.  If you give them to me, I'll let you live until you've healed.  Looking for this?" he held up Peter's dagger.  "It's tasted its master's blood, remember?  I kept it for a souvenir after I pulled it out of your belly.  Tell me what I want to know, or I'll put it back where I found it."

Peter stared at the blade in Hook's hand and remembered how much it had hurt when Billy had stabbed him.  "Ask," he said simply.

Hook put the knife away and patted Peter's head.  "Good boy.  Now, I want to know about Jason.  Where did he come from, and what in God's name happened to him?"

Peter frowned, "Somewhere in America, I think.  It was so long ago I don't remember exactly.  I didn't have any Lost Boys, I lived here alone with Tink.  She showed me how to fly to the mortal world, so we would go sometimes when I got lonely.  I'd never thought about bringing someone back, but I couldn't leave him there."

Hook leaned forward, "Why not?"

Peter shifted on his pillows.  The memory wasn't there, not quite, but it tickled.  And it made him queasy.  "His father hurt him," he said vaguely.

"What, precisely, did his father do to him?  I want you to recount that day to me.  I know his father tried to kill him, and his mother.  I know that you witnessed everything and rescued him from being drowned.  I also know you killed his father.  I want details."

"Why?" Peter asked in annoyance.  "I don't want to remember this."

"I don't know _why it's important for me to know.  I only know that for the three days he's been gone, I keep wondering about what he didn't say.  He said you knew the secret he couldn't tell."_

Peter felt cold inside.  "He remembers?"  He looked at Slightly in fear, "I didn't remember at first, either.  I suddenly remembered his name was Jason that day.  If I had remembered everything, I never would have called him by it."

"Answer me, boy," Hook said coldly, the dagger back in his hand.

Peter frowned at the blade, the lamplight reflecting brightly on the steel.  He glanced at the lantern Hook had brought with him.  "Uncover the flame on your light, Captain.  I need to see the fire."

Hook was a little confused and suspicious, but he complied.  He watched Peter as he stared at the flame, and saw the boy's face relax.  

_Jason,_ Peter repeated to himself as he watched the tiny flame dance on the wick.  "Jason… and Jennifer" he said softly as he slipped into memory speech.  Tink had taught him this:  remember without feeling and forget when you're done.  "I played with them once before… I came back again to play with them.  Jason was my size, his sister Jennifer was younger… like Tootles age.  They lived on a farm, way away from other people…  I couldn't find them at first when I came to visit again."  Peter continued to speak, recounting that day.

"Jason!" Peter cried when he finally found the boy.  He alighted beside Jason, who was sitting on the grass, staring at something.  "You playing hide and seek?"  

Jason didn't answer at first, didn't even look up.  Peter looked around and saw headstones around them; not many, it being a small family cemetery.  "Wow, I didn't know you had graves in your backyard!  Do you see ghosts at night?"

"Yes," Jason said softly, "Lately I do."  He looked up at Peter, and the black eye he sported was prominent on his pale face.  "You've been gone for months.  I thought we'd just made you up."

Peter smiled happily, trying to cover the alarm he felt.  "Yeah, I forgot for a little while.  But I promised I'd come back, and I always keep my promises when I remember them.  What happened to your eye?  You get in a fight?"

Jason looked away.  "I fell," he mumbled weakly.

"Peter?" Tink whispered in his ear, "Something's not right.  Something's very not right."

Peter nodded.  He didn't understand, but he knew that something was very wrong with Jason.  The child had been happy and cocky and playful last time he'd come here.  _Maybe Jenny could tell me what's wrong.  Maybe he's sick._  "Where's Jenny?  I brought her a real seashell necklace from the mermaids, just like she asked for."

Jason pointed to the headstone he was facing, the one behind Peter.  "You're standing on her."

Peter jumped back and whirled around.  "What?" he asked in confusion.  

"Peter!" Tink squeaked, "That's Jennifer's grave!" she exclaimed when she read the words on the stone.

"Jenny's dead?" Peter whispered.  "How?"  He didn't know children could die.  Dying was what happened when you grew up.  Children weren't supposed to die, it was against the law.

Jason started crying, and Peter knelt beside the boy and tried to comfort him.  Seeing Jason's sadness made Peter realize that the boy's sister was in fact dead, and as he remembered the day they'd played together, Peter felt the grief well up inside himself.  Together they wept for the little girl, and gave each other support.  After awhile, Jason could speak again.

"She still talks to me sometimes.  Tells me it wasn't my fault," he said as he wiped his eyes.  "I should have done something, but I was scared."

"What happened?" Peter asked.

"I can't tell," Jason said, shaking his head.  "He'll hurt me if I tell, and he'll hurt whoever I tell.  He said he would."

"Who?" Peter demanded.  "Let me help you, Jason.  I won't let anyone hurt you, and no one can hurt me, I'm Peter Pan!"

Jason stared at the boy for awhile, desperate to unload his heart.  _I can't keep it all inside anymore, I feel like my heart's going to burst if I don't tell.  But I don't want to die, too.  I don't want Peter to die.  He stared at his sister's grave, and he heard her voice again._

_Tell Peter.  Please, tell someone what happened to me, Jason.  Mommy always says the truth will set you free.  Peter can set us both free,_ her voice whispered to him.

"She's talking to you, isn't she," Tink asked as she floated before the distraught boy.  "I can hear her.  She's watching over you, Jason, and she won't go on to heaven until she knows you're okay."

Jason smiled at the fairy in relief.  "You can hear her too?  I hear her all the time, sometimes I can almost see her.  She sings her silly songs to me when I'm hurt or sad… Daddy says I'm crazy.  Says I need to grow up and be a man, stop playing and start helping him more with the farm work.  Mommy doesn't speak much since Jenny died.  She won't even look at me anymore.  I think she blames me."

"Why would she blame you?" Peter asked.

"I saw it all," Jason answered.  "I saw him hitting her.  She was just playing grown-up, pretending to help daddy in the barn.  She wasn't supposed to be in there, Mommy had told us to leave daddy be.  He's been angry a lot lately, there's been a drought for two years now and no crops.  Money troubles, and daddy's started drinking.  Jenny was pretending to work on the tractor, she poured water in the gas tank."

Jason shook his head, "I should have taken the blame… I was bigger than her, I'm her big brother, it's my job to watch out for her.  But I tattled instead, and daddy got really mad.  He started spanking her at first, but she wouldn't quit squirming, so he got madder and kept hitting…" Jason closed his eyes tightly.  "I was scared, so I hid.  Mommy was at the neighbors, so no one else could have helped.  He told everyone that Bella, our horse, trampled her.  They buried her here… Daddy knew I saw, and he told me that if I said anything they'd take him away and hang him.  He said that before that happened, he'd kill me too, and Mommy would be all alone.  Her children and her husband all dead, because of me."

Peter stared at Jason in horror.  "Parents… parents aren't supposed to kill their children!"  He looked at Tinker Bell, "Why would a grown-up kill a child?  Especially their own child?"

"I don't know, Peter," Tink whispered sadly, "but I know that it happens sometimes."

Peter's horror turned to outrage and anger.  "He has to pay!  It's not right!" he cried as he drew his dagger.

"No, Peter!" Jason yelled.  "He's my daddy, you can't hurt him… and you can't tell anyone."

"Come with me then," Peter offered.  "I'll take you to Neverland with me!  You'll learn to fly and you'll never grow up.  We'll have wonderful adventures and be best friends."

"I want to," Jason said wistfully.  He'd dreamed of doing just that ever since Peter had visited them the first time.  He and Jenny had spent hours making maps of Neverland, pretending to visit the places they dreamed of.  She'd wanted to see the mermaids so badly.  "I can't," he added, "I can't leave mommy alone with him.  He hits her too."

"JASON!" came a man's voice from the house.  Jason blanched and stood quickly, looking to see where the man was.  

"I have to go, Peter," he said, his voice shaky with fear.  "I hope he didn't see you, I'm not supposed to talk to people unless he's there too."

"Jason, don't go," Peter begged, "Come with me instead!"

"Bye, Peter," Jason replied, "I don't expect I'll see you again, I'm supposed to grow up soon.  I really like you, and you were my best friend, even though we only played that one day."  He waved and ran to the house, praying that his father wasn't drunk.


	16. Death and Rebirth

Peter stared through the window at the man and boy inside the house.  He hated that man, that man had killed his friend Jenny.  He had Jason by the arm, yelling at the boy.  Peter fingered his dagger, trying to decide what to do.

"I saw you talking to someone, boy!" the man yelled, shaking his son.  "Who was it?  What did you talk about?"

"It was Peter!" Jason repeated again.  "We were just talking."

"Ain't no families round here with a boy named Peter," the man snarled.  "Why were you with him in the cemetery?"

"I was visiting Jenny," Jason answered, "Peter didn't know Jenny was dead, he's been gone for a long time.  I told him…"

"What did you tell him?" Jason's father asked coldly.

"I – I told him Bella did it," Jason stammered.

"You little liar!" the man screamed.  "You told on me didn't you?  You filthy little tattle-tale!"  

Jason screamed as his father began hitting him, and curled up like he'd learned to, to protect his stomach and face.

Outside, Peter began pounding on the window, trying to make the man stop.  Neither man nor boy within paid any heed, so Peter flew around the house, desperately trying to find a window to get in at.  At the kitchen window he saw a woman running out of the room, and he yelled for her, trying to get her to go up and help.

The hitting stopped when the woman spoke.  "Charles, you son of a bitch," Jason's mother said coldly.  Charles turned around to see the woman standing there, a large kitchen knife in her grip.

"Woman, go back to the kitchen.  This boy's gotta learn his lesson."

"I've lost one baby to your lessons, you bastard," she yelled, "I won't let you hurt my other one any more!"

Peter watched, stunned into stillness at what happened in that house.  He watched as the man tried to take the knife from the woman, and saw her fight him.  He saw the man overpower her and take the knife away.  Jason tried to help his mother, but once Charles had the knife, neither woman nor child stood a chance.  When it was done and silence reigned in the house, Peter drifted to the ground and cried, his heart aching at the horror.

"Peter," he heard Tink call.  He uncovered his eyes and looked at the small girl.

"Jason's dead," he sobbed, "I let him die."

"No," Tink said quickly, "but you have to hurry!  You can still help.  That evil man is taking them away, and Jason's still alive!  I saw him moving, but he's really really hurt."  

Peter stood quickly and looked around.  "Where?"

"He put them in sacks and put the sacks in a wagon.  We have to catch up, if we can get Jason to Neverland quickly we can help him!"

Tink had watched while Peter wept, knowing that someone should bear witness, and knowing that it was best if Peter didn't see any more of this.  When the man had put the sacks in the wagon, Tink had seen the smaller one move and heard a soft cry from within.  Peter had been difficult to rouse, and the wagon was already gone.  Together, she and Peter flew down the road, trying to catch up.

The bridge crossing the river wasn't far, and the man had been galloping the horse to get there quickly.  They saw that one sack was already gone, and watched in fear as he tossed the smaller one in, too.

"NO!" Peter screamed, and his fear turned to pure anger.  "You'll pay for hurting my friend!" he swore, and dove for the man, dagger at the ready.  Charles had just enough time to see the boy flying towards him, just enough time to wonder if it was an angel or a demon before Peter was upon him.  Peter drove the dagger into the man's throat as he barreled past him, barely slowing on his way to the surface of the river.  He dove into the water where he'd marked the sack had sank, disappearing beneath the surface.

Tinker Bell hovered above the bridge, waiting anxiously.  She spared a glance for the man lying in the road, enough of a glance to assure herself that he was dead.  She regretted that Peter had killed him, but she didn't regret the man's death.  He was a monster and deserved nothing less.  Her concern was for how it would affect her Peter.  _Peter, please hurry!_  She urged.  A moment later, the boy broke the surface and flew to her, barely able to carry the heavy sack.

Peter carried his burden to the shore, and they opened it enough to see that the boy was still alive.  Working quickly, Tinker Bell cast a spell to make Jason sleep deeply, to help preserve his life longer.  

"You have to fly, Peter, fly for all you can.  I'll help us go faster, but when we get there, you'll be more tired than you have been in your entire life.  Leave him in the sack, but leave the top open.  We don't have time to do anything else for him," she'd instructed, and Peter had obeyed her without question.

"And we did get back home really fast," Peter said softly, still staring at the flame.  "I went to the Indians, they were my friends and had helped me before when I was hurt.  Chief Two Bears took care of Jason, and I went to sleep for two whole days.  I woke up and Jason was still alive, so I was happy.  He wasn't, though.  He wouldn't speak much, and he cried a lot.  Two Bears said his mind was hurt, it was too much for a child to live through.  So Tink and the Chief made him forget, and he woke up and was all new and happy.  They made me forget too, 'cause I kept having nightmares.  My nightmares sometime come to life in Neverland, so they made me forget.  Jason became Slightly, 'cause the tag on the sack said 'Slightly Soiled'… it was a laundry sack I think.  We were best friends forever after that."

Peter finished his tale and sat still, staring at the flame.  Hook also sat, lost in thought.  _It's worse than I thought.  Jason's father was a monster… worse than my own father was to me.  And when I flogged him, I reminded him of his father.  "Thank you Peter," he said at last.  When Peter didn't respond, he noticed the boy was still staring blankly at the flame.  "Peter?"_

"Yes?" Peter answered without moving.

Hook frowned and leaned forward.  _Is he in a trance of some sort?  "Wake up."_

Peter blinked and looked up at the man.  "Captain Hook?  What are you doing here?"

"You don't remember?" Hook asked in surprise.

"No," Peter looked around in confusion.  "I just woke up."

Hook decided he'd had enough for one night.  _I wonder if Peter and Slightly are the only ones with fractured minds, or if all the children are like this.  "I came to see if Slightly was doing better, and to see if you were going to live.  And I came to give you this back."  He pulled the dagger out and held it before Peter.  "How badly do you want it?"_

Peter looked frightened at first, but then he smirked at the man.  "Give it back and I won't cut off your other hand."

Hook smiled, "Glad to see you're feeling better."  He buried the blade in the ground beside the boy, then lightly slapped Peter on the stomach, making the boy yelp.  "Come see me when you're well, and I'll give you a few more holes."

Peter kept his hands over his wound protectively and tried not to cry.  He held his composure long enough for Hook to leave, but as soon as the man was out of sight, he relaxed and let the tears flow.  After a little while the pain subsided to the normal ache and Peter went back to sleep.


	17. Lost and Found

When Peter's breathing calmed to slow, even breaths, Slightly sat up.  He stared at Peter for a bit, to make sure the boy was actually asleep.  When he was certain he wouldn't be seen, he stood (wincing a bit at the sharp stings all over his body) and quietly crept out of the new door Hook had made.  He stood for awhile outside, getting his bearings and making sure no one was in sight.  It was dark, and no stars shone in the overcast sky.  The wind was blowing, and it smelled like rain was on its way.  

When he decided that all was clear, Slightly walked away from it all.  He didn't know where he was going, he didn't even really care.  He just wanted to be alone.  He'd slept for a long time, he knew that, but there had been times when he'd been near to waking, and he had listened to the people talking around him… talking about him.  When he'd heard Hook's voice earlier, it had startled him wide awake, and he had listened to Peter tell his story. 

He had remembered bits and pieces of it.  He had remembered Jenny some, he remembered what his father had done, and he remembered recovering in Neverland.  Hearing Peter put it into one coherent story had helped him piece everything together, and now he remembered it all.  He knew he should stay and let Panther take his memories again, that doing so would wipe away (or at least hide) the pain in his heart.  But he was confused and angry, and he wanted some time alone, away from everything and everyone that had hurt him.  He needed to think.

He wandered aimlessly through the darkened forest, letting his instincts guide his feet.  Sometimes he would stop and stand for awhile, head cocked as he listened to a voice deep within himself.  His feelings and fears whirled together in his mind, and the harder he tried to understand, the worse it became.

_Why does everyone want to hurt me?  Daddy, Peter, Hook… they all hurt me while pretending to care.  I can't trust Peter any more, he said he'd be there for me always, and he lied.  But he saved my life, he brought me here and I was happy… and now he's hurt because of me.  Billy stabbed Peter, and tonight Hook hurt Peter again because he wanted to know about me.  _

_Everything is all my fault.  I killed Jenny when I tattled… I killed Mommy when I made Daddy mad… I shouldn't have said anything, if I had stayed quiet we could have been a happy family.  I should have made Peter go away that day. _

_I wish Billy had killed me like I asked him too.  Why didn't he?  He said he'd do anything for me._  Faster the chaotic thoughts whirled in his mind, and he began to run.   He ignored the pain from his wounds as he tried to outdistance the hateful, hurtful voices that whispered to him.  They told him he was bad, that he was worthless, and that nothing good could ever be his in his life because he didn't deserve it.  He wanted to go back to his friends, to forget everything again… but he couldn't forgive them or himself.

"Quiet," he gasped as he ran.  "Just shut up and leave me alone!"  He skidded to a halt as a new, louder voice spoke to him, silencing the rest.  It was his own voice.

"Alone.  Quiet.  No one can hurt me if I'm alone.  I can't hurt anyone else if I stay away.  No one loves me, so I won't love anyone else ever again."  He nodded, welcoming the peace this decision brought him.  _I don't care, I won't care.  Nothing matters.  I'll survive and I won't let anyone hurt me ever again.  His resolve hardened and he smiled.  Quietly, he walked away, not even noticing when the sky broke and the rain began pouring down._

Peter awoke with a cry.  He was being shaken and it was making his stomach scream in pain.  He flailed, knocking the hand away as he tried to sit up.

"I am sorry, Peter," Panther said gently.  "I did not wish to hurt you.  You were difficult to wake, and it is important that we speak.  Are you alright?"

"My stomach hurts," the boys said weakly.  "Hook hit it last night and it still burns."

"Captain Hook was here?" Panther asked sharply.  They'd seen the cut in the tent this morning, but the rain outside had washed away any meaningful tracks.

Peter nodded slowly.  "He…" he paused, frowning at the disjointed memories that came.  "He said he wanted to see if we were better.  He left my dagger here, then he hit me and left."

"Let me check your wound," Panther said as he began removing the bandage.  Peter let him work, too tired and sleepy to protest.

"Did Hook take Slightly with him?" Panther asked while he examined the wound.  It was irritated and had bled more last night, but Hook hadn't done any real harm to it.

"What do you mean?  Slightly was asleep there when Hook left," Peter replied, alarmed.  He glanced at the other pallet and realized it was empty.

"Slightly is gone and we do not know where he is," Panther answered.  Peter tried to sit up again, and the man had to pin the boy down firmly.  

"Let me UP!" Peter yelled.  "I have to find him!  If Hook has him again…" Peter began to shake in fear and started to thrash about, trying to wiggle free of the Shaman's hold.

Panther tried to calm Peter, but the boy wouldn't listen.  When he saw the wound begin to bleed freely again, he knew drastic measures were needed.  "Tiger Lily!" he called, and a moment later the girl entered the medicine tent.  Her eyes widened in shock when she saw the source of the commotion she'd heard outside.  "Get the lotus balm and wipe some under his nose!  He's hurting himself."

"NO!" Peter screamed.  He tried to turn his head away from the girl when she knelt beside him, but she deftly smeared the thick cream above his lip.  Peter smelled the sweet aroma and his limbs lost the small strength they had.  "No," he whispered again.  "Have to… find… him…"  His eyes slid shut and he went to sleep.

Panther worked quickly to fix the damage Peter had done to himself.  "Take a hunting party and see if you can track Slightly down.  He must be found.  Wendy and Tinker Bell will be here shortly, I will tell them what has happened."

"Yes, Father," Tiger Lily answered as she quickly washed her hands.  "We _will find him."_

Hook stood on the deck and watched Billy Jukes as the boy belatedly covered Long Tom.  _He's still upset.  He'd _NEVER _have let the cannon sit out in the rain this long otherwise.  The only reason the gunner was tending to it now was because Hook had ordered him to._

"Mr. Jukes!" he yelled when Billy finished.  "I want a word with you in my cabin."  When Billy glared at him and nodded, Hook retired inside and waited.  "Sit down," he said sternly when Jukes entered.  Billy took the indicated seat silently without looking at him.

"You heard I went to see the boys last night," Hook said softly.  "I want you to know I didn't harm them.  I merely had questions for Pan.  Slightly was resting peacefully and he looked better."

Billy felt a surge of relief.  He'd been so worried the past few days.  But he still didn't speak.  He was so angry at Hook, he hated the man so much, that he was afraid of what he might say if he tried to speak to him.  He didn't want to be beaten for insolence or insulting the Captain.

"I'm giving you shore leave, to go see your friend.  I owe Slightly for what I did to him, and I think that seeing you would make him feel better," Hook explained.  Seeing the hate in his gunner's eyes hurt him more than he'd ever thought it would.  He'd never asked for or expected Jukes to like him, but the outright contempt Billy exuded was a punch in the gut.  

"I know you hate me and I deserve it.  Surprisingly, I'd like you to forgive me, you and Slightly both.  I won't interfere in your friendship with the child.  I won't kill Slightly if we capture him with the other Lost Boys.  Instead, I'll give you custody of him, to watch so that I can deal with Pan without killing your friend."

Billy frowned at the concession Hook had just made.  Hook never made deals without strings and loopholes.  "The catch?"

"This isn't a bargain," Hook snapped, "and it isn't an agreement.  I'm merely telling you my future intentions.  I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope that one day you will…" he was interrupted by a pounding on the door.

"What!" Hook yelled angrily.

The door swung open and Wendy flew in, clutching Peter's dagger.  "Where's Slightly, Captain Hook!" she demanded angrily.

Both pirates stared at the fierce girl in shock.  They'd never seen Wendy wield a weapon, and she had a look in her eyes that swore she'd use it. 

"The Indian village," Hook growled, covering his surprise.

"He's disappeared," Wendy snapped.  She'd caught their reactions, and decided that they didn't have her boy.  "Peter said you came to see him.  When Panther checked on them this morning, Slightly was gone."

"I assure you, Miss, when I left them, young Slightly was still asleep," Hook said soothingly.

"I bet he's lying," Nibs called from the doorway.

"No, he's not," Wendy answered.  "Slightly's on the island somewhere.  Let's go find him."

"A moment, Miss Wendy," Hook called.  "Take Mr. Jukes with you."  If he was going to get the gunner's loyalty back, he had to make some serious peace overtures.  Jukes was too valuable to lose, as a gunner, blacksmith… and a potential weakness for a Lost Boy.  He had no intention of hurting Slightly again right now, but he couldn't ignore the chance to insinuate one of his own men into Pan's circle of friends.  _Besides,_ he grudgingly admitted to himself, _I really did warm up to the lad, and I am a bit concerned about his disappearance.  _"He'll worry himself sick until the boy's found."

"I don't know," Wendy said warily.

"He can come," Nibs answered.  "He loves Slightly, we can trust him to help."

Billy stared at Hook in confusion.  _You never cease to surprise me, you old bastard.  "Thank you, Cap'n."_

Hook pushed the boy out the door after the other two children.  "I want you back at sundown.  You'll see him home?"

Nibs nodded and took Billy's arm.  "Sundown."  Tink dusted Jukes and Curly took the other arm.  Together, Curly and Nibs lifted Billy into the air and flew away.

For the first time ever, Billy was able to fly with them without worrying they'd drop him.  _I see why Slightly loves flying.  This is wonderful._

For three days they searched for Slightly with no success.  It was as if the boy had turned into smoke and vanished.  Every morning, two Lost Boys (usually the Twins) would go get Billy, and every evening, two tired Lost Boys would barely carry an equally tired Billy back.  Mercifully, Hook allowed Jukes to eat and retire for the nights, and despite himself Billy found that he didn't hate Hook quite as much anymore.

Peter was a handful for the Indian Chief.  He was determined that he wouldn't rest until Slightly was found, and he kept trying to slip away.  He only stopped when Panther extended his drastic measures and began keeping the boy drugged.  For those three days, Peter lay in a haze, taking his medicine and eating on command, but unable to think clearly or find the energy to move much.

Mid-morning of the fourth day, Tink returned to Nibs with the news she'd just heard.  "I spoke to a gnome that lives in the were-forest.  He says there's a little boy living in the woods at the edge of the were-forest.  Says he doesn't talk, but he described him and it _has_ to be Slightly."

Nibs nodded, "I'll get everyone and we'll go see.  Do you know where to go?"

"Elgar said he'd wait for us at Lookout Hill and take us there," the pixie relied.

Slightly lay still in the brush and peered at his campsite.  _Go away, he silently urged.  _Just leave me alone!_  Wendy, Nibs, Curly, Tiger Lily and Hard-to-Hit were there, examining his new home and wandering in the surrounding woods.  They were calling for him, asking for him to come back._

_Probably want to throw berries at me and call me names,_ Slightly thought angrily.  _Please go!  He felt a shock go through him when the Twins arrived, carrying Billy between them.  _I guess Hook's after me, too._  Part of him knew he was being unfair, but it was overshadowed by his fear.  His heart was racing, and if he had had anything in his stomach, he'd probably throw up.  Closing his eyes tightly, he tried to calm himself._

_They can't hurt me.  I don't care,_ he repeated, and after awhile his panic stilled.  He opened his eyes and stared, waiting patiently for the intruders to leave.

"Maybe he'll come back later," Curly sighed.  They'd searched for hours, but Slightly wasn't to be found. 

Wendy looked at the setting sun.  "We have to get Billy back.  We can't search at night."

"I'll stay," Billy offered.  "Cap'n won't need me, so if someone just tells him what's going on, he'll not get mad.  Slightly might come back."

"He's right," Nibs answered.  "Billy and Hard-to-Hit should stay – Slightly's not mad at them, so he might come back when the rest of us leave.  I'll bring you back some blankets for the night."   No one argued, and soon Billy and the Indian boy were alone in the clearing.

"I've never camped," Billy said awkwardly.  "What do we do now?"

"Well, you gather some wood for a fire, I'll go catch some food," Hard-to-Hit suggested.  Billy nodded and together they got ready for the night.

The warm smell of roasting rabbit woke Slightly, and he stared hungrily at the fire.  He was starving, literally.  He'd had mostly berries and water since striking out on his own, and before that he'd subsisted on thin soup and hardtack for a month on the ship.  His stomach overrode his mind for a moment, and he stepped out of the brush and went to the fire.

"Slightly?" Billy called when he saw the boy standing at the edge of the camp.  He went to stand up, but sat back down when he saw the way his friend stepped back.

"Are you hungry?" Hard-to-Hit asked softly.  "You may have some of our rabbit, it should be done soon," he added when Slightly nodded.

"Come sit with us," Billy offered.

Slightly shook his head.  His fear was building again.  He didn't know why, though.  These two hadn't hurt him, and he loved Billy – _No!  I can't love anyone!  I can't!_  With a cry, Slightly turned and ran away.

"Slightly!" Billy yelled and tried to follow.  Hard-to-Hit held him back.

"Let him go.  He is frightened.  We will leave the food for him and go back to the village.  Chief Great Big Little Panther will know how to help him."

Billy didn't want to leave, but the boy's words made sense.  In a short time they were gone, the fire burning low and the rabbit left on a wooden plate.  When he was certain they were gone, Slightly crept from his hiding place and quickly devoured the offering.  Completely full, he rolled up in the blankets they had also left and got the first good night's sleep he'd had for a while.

In the wee hours of morning, Chief Panther silently crept up to the boy.  He leaned over Slightly and gently smeared the lotus balm beneath the boy's nose. 

"no…" Slightly tried to pull away as he awoke to the touch, but the balm soothed his exhausted body and he quickly went back to sleep.

Very gently, Panther undressed the boy and checked his wounds.  As he'd feared, some of them were infected.  He treated the cuts and rewrapped the worst of them, then put some clean clothes on Slightly.  "I know you wish to be alone, young one, and we will respect that wish.  But we will not let you come to harm, either.  Rest, be well, and take the time you need to ease your heart."  Once Slightly was lying comfortably, Panther left him alone.  Beside the boy, he left a satchel containing things the child would need.

"He gonna sleep long?" the gnome asked the Chief.

"Until late morning.  You will keep watch, Elgar?"

The gnome nodded.  "My kin broke an ancient promise when we harmed that lad.  We'll watch him faithful and see he's cared for until young Lord Pan is well."  The gnome looked at Slightly tenderly, "We marked him in anger, forgetting who he was.  He's our boy, now more'n ever, and he'll want for nothing."

"Do not become obtrusive.  He'll flee from you as much as he fled from us.  He's been hurt and betrayed too much in his life, and to add to his fear will only push him away."

Elgar nodded and settled in for his watch.

When Slightly awoke, he felt refreshed and well.  He was only a little hungry, and his hurts didn't hurt.  _What the hell?_ he wondered when he saw the Indian style clothing he now wore:  leather pants, a light vest, and a sturdy pair of moccasin boots.  _That _was_ Panther, it wasn't a dream!  He was confused.  Why was he still out here instead of back at the village.  He saw that his injuries had been treated and that a package had been left behind._

Cautiously, he unwrapped the gift.  Blankets, a small tent, a water flask, a knife, fishing line, a snare… all that and more were within the satchel.  There was even a small jar of some sharp smelling ointment.  A note attached to the jar drew his attention, and he read it curiously.

_Dear Slightly,_

_We hope you are doing well.  Peter is recovering, but he is angry at us because we won't let him get up to come see you.  Chief Panther says he shouldn't move yet.  Billy said you were hungry, so the Indians have made you this package to help you live alone._

_The ointment is for your cuts.  It will ease the pain and keep infection away.  Use it as much as you need, and if you need more we'll bring some.  If you need _anything_, just ask aloud.  They won't bother you, but you are being watched.  Tink says that Neverland itself is watching over you, and no one will let you be hurt._

_Please come back to us soon.  We miss you and love you!_

_Love Always,_

_Wendy Moira Angela Darling_

Scrawled beneath her signature were the shaky autographs of the Lost Boys.  Only Peter's name was absent, but a P.S. explained that.  _Panther is making Peter sleep, so he can't put his X here himself.  But I told him you were safe and he smiled and quit trying to wake up._

Slightly folded the letter and tried not to cry.  That someone cared about him touched him deeply and made him feel better about himself.  But there were so many reasons to stay away.  He felt his resolve slip a bit, but he caught himself and put the wall back up.  _It doesn't matter,_ he repeated to himself.  He put the letter someplace safe and set about putting his gifts to good use.

That afternoon, Slightly decided to take a much needed bath.  He'd found a deep pool of water near his camp, which was odd since he'd been to this part of the woods several times and he'd never seen the pool before.  A brief inspection had showed him that the water was pleasantly warm, with a large rock jutting from the middle of the pool, perfect for sunning. 

It saddened him at first.  He remembered when he and Jenny used to dream of Neverland, and this had been their perfect swimming hole.  He knew that in this pool were big, tasty fish that couldn't wait to jump on your hook, and that the water would be sweet.  He remembered Wendy's letter:  _Neverland__ itself is watching over you._

_Well,_ he thought,_ they owe me this much at least.  Jenny would be happy to see me enjoying one of our dreams._  Without a second thought, he stripped down and dove in.  After soaking for a long while and swimming a few swift laps, he climbed onto the rock and went to sleep.

He woke with a start later, hearing a familiar voice.  He looked up to see Hook standing at the edge of the pool, staring at him with an odd expression on his face.  _Son of a bitch!  Does EVERYONE know where I live now?_

"How are you?" the man asked pleasantly.  He frowned a bit when Slightly only stared at him expressionlessly.  "Mr. Jukes told me you weren't speaking.  Don't worry, he wouldn't tell me where you moved to.  I and my men were hunting, and I found you by accident.  I sent Mason away so I could speak to you."  Hook winced a bit when Slightly sat up and he saw the damage he'd done to the boy.  _Even with the best of healing, he's going to have a lot of scars.  __I wish I could have reached him, made him my own.  _

He continued, "I personally don't hold with apologies.  Sympathetic words are useless and rarely truly meant.  But I am sorry for what I put you through.  I wanted to hurt Pan, and I used you to do it.  I did grow rather fond of you, and I was very disappointed when you betrayed me.  I don't expect you to forgive and forget, but I wanted to say it anyway."  He began to feel a bit flustered when Slightly just kept staring at him.  "Peter told me about your past…"

"I know," Slightly said hoarsely, his throat uncooperative from lack of use.  "Past is past.  Jason's dead, I'm just stuck with his memories."

"Will Slightly survive?  Of will you start a new life again as a hermit, living eternally in Neverland, hiding forever from everyone and never speaking again?"

Slightly frowned at the question.  He didn't know what he was going to do.  He'd wanted to get away from everyone, needed room to breathe.  He'd needed a place where he wouldn't be afraid.  But forever was an awfully long time.  "Slightly sleeps for now.  Maybe he'll wake up one day," he compromised.

"And who are you?"

Slightly shrugged, "I'm nobody."  He dove into the water and swam to the side of the pool where his clothes lay.  He had to get closer to Hook, but he didn't care.  The watchers wouldn't allow Hook to hurt him.  Only those that claimed to love him could hurt him where it mattered.  He calmly picked up his clothes and looked at Hook without speaking.

Hook found himself staring at the whip-cuts.  _I even got him on the face, he noticed, seeing the light cut that ran along the boy's jaw.  That one wouldn't scar, but it made him realize how crazed he'd been, if he'd hit the boy that indiscriminately with the cat.  "If Slightly wakes up, I won't mind if he and Billy become friends again."  Not knowing what else to say, and hating himself for his weakness, Hook turned and left the boy alone._

Slightly shrugged and went to go find some supper.


	18. Resolution

Panther let Peter leave when he was satisfied the boy had healed enough that he wasn't going to reopen the wound.  It had been over a week since Slightly had disappeared, and Peter was anxious to see his friend.  Panther had stopped drugging him when he'd promised not to try to leave, and he was able to make that promise when Tink had explained how the fairies were watching Slightly.  Since then, he'd listened to Wendy, Nibs, and Panther when they talked about the wayward boy, and they all had discussed what the best course of action to take was.  Peter was inclined to listen to Panther, the shaman understood people.  And according to Panther, the best thing would be to leave Slightly in peace, but to stay close for when the boy needed them.  

When Peter left the village, he didn't go home.  He had Tink take him straight to where Slightly now lived.  Ever so quietly, Peter alighted in the tree next to Wendy and hid with her in the branches, peeking through the leaves at the boy.  He smiled in relief when he saw the boy with his own eyes.

Slightly fed more wood into his campfire and put the fish onto a spit to cook.  He leaned back against a log and pulled out his knife.  Working slowly and deliberately, he continued his carving of the wolf that sat across the fire from him.  It was strange knowing he was being watched, but he ignored the feeling like he usually did.  _What could I do about it anyway?  The island's not that big._  

Neko had shown up the day he'd talked to Hook.  The wolf followed him everywhere and stayed with him all night while he slept.  Slightly didn't mind, the wolf brought back game and fish for meals, which kept him from having to set snares.  He'd eaten well for the past few days, and felt stronger than he had in a while.  The ointment Panther had sent was wonderful stuff, and now the worst of the cuts only barely stung.  Slightly was as close to cheerful as he'd been since Peter had banished him over a month ago, now that he was being fed regularly and wasn't being beaten and threatened. 

_This is actually fairly easy,_ he thought as he continued to shape the wood into Neko's semblance.  _Nibs isn't__ the only artistic one.  He sighed as he thought of Nibs and his almost good mood vanished.  Now that he wasn't worrying about surviving, he had way too much time to think.  Thinking made him depressed.  _I wonder what they're doing.  Probably playing, or on some adventure with Peter._  His mood became black when he thought of his ex-friend.  __If Peter's still alive._  Wendy's note said he was doing better.  I'm sure he's fine.  Probably forgotten about me by now.__

"That's beautiful, Slightly," Wendy said softly as she alighted beside Neko.

Slightly looked up in alarm and stood.  He stared at the girl stonily, waiting to see if the others had come, too.

"Is that going to be Neko?" Wendy asked, trying to get the boy to speak.  No one had bothered him for days, and she and Peter had decided to test the waters.  Peter knew better than to step into the boy's sight, and they both knew Slightly would be more likely to open up to Wendy than anyone else, except maybe Billy.

Slightly looked at the lump of wood and frowned.  Who was he kidding?  He couldn't do anything right, and this thing was the ugliest carving ever.  He shrugged and tossed it into the fire.

"No!" Wendy protested and picked the wood out of the flames.  She burned her hand but saved the carving.  She blew on her burned fingers and tried not to cry from the pain.

Slightly was horrified when he saw the tears fall from her eyes and saw how red her fingers were.  _See?  I hurt everyone I love._  He retrieved the jar of ointment and went to Wendy.  She let him take her hand and smear the balm on the burns.  

Wendy sighed in relief as it cooled her fingers and smiled.  "Thank you, Slightly," she said softly and hugged the boy.  She held on even when the boy stiffened in her arms.   She smiled as she felt his arms tentatively go around her to return the hug.  "We love you, Slightly."  Suddenly she found herself stumbling back as Slightly shoved her away.

_Leave me alone,_ the boy thought in despair.  _I don't want to feel!  It hurts too much to love._  He saw the upset look on Wendy's face and fled from her, running to the new hiding place he'd found.  She called out after him, apologizing and asking him to come back, but he kept going.  He finally reached the small cave and wiggled inside.  The burrow was small, he couldn't stretch out or sit up in it, but he was safe here.

Wendy sighed and looked up.  "I almost reached him.  He still loves us, he's just afraid.  I guess we should try again in a few days."

Peter dropped out of the tree and walked up to her.  "How's your hand?"

"It's fine.  The ointment he put on it helped a lot.  I should get some for home."

Peter nodded and looked around.  "Cozy.  We'll try again later.  Maybe I'll come see him.  Until then, there's a good field close by.  Maybe we should start playing there more often."

"Why?" Wendy asked.

"Let him come to us.  He'll know we're nearby if he wants to see us, but we won't seek him out.  If it bothers him, he'll move and we'll try something else."

Wendy nodded and looked at the half-finished carving.  She laid it on top of the log and turned to the wolf.  "Thank you for watching over him, Neko.  Please keep him safe and don't let mean old Captain Hook close to him again."  She gave the wolf an affectionate pat and flew home with Peter.

Slightly sat on the rock and looked down.  He'd come here for the past couple of days to think – it gave him perspective.  The water rushed past him on either side, wetting him with spray as it splashed against his rock.  The roar of Forget-Me-Not Falls deafened him as he stared at the drop beneath his feet.  The rock jutted out of the water at the drop-off point, and was his new favorite place to be.

_I should have died.  Twice I was supposed to drown, so why didn't I?_  He'd been thinking about death a lot lately, and it wasn't as scary as he used to believe.  His father had nearly killed him; Peter had nearly killed him (though he had now decided that his fall really had been an accident); Hook, the mermaids, the pixie… they had all tried.  Even Billy had tried, but he couldn't go through with it.  _Either I'm invincible, or I have the worst luck ever.  Based on the bruises, cuts and scars he'd obtained in those near-death experiences, he was leaning towards the luck theory._

_I wonder if anyone else has ever gone over the falls and lived?  I wonder if I could do it twice._  He didn't want to try.  What little of the experience he had been conscious for was extremely unpleasant.  _I did_ drown.  I breathed in the water.  Then I hit the rock and it all came back out.  Luck._  Idly, he mused on whether that constituted good luck or bad luck._

He sat for a long time, staring out over Neverland.  It was a beautiful day, nicer than most.  It was the kind of day that made you think maybe being alive wasn't so bad after all.  _I miss my friends, he decided.  He'd watched them play near his camp for the past few days.  Tag, hide-and-seek, dodge ball – they'd play all those kinds of games, even once while it rained.  Peter seemed unusually content to not have death-defying adventures, but that was likely because his wound still bothered him, a constant reminder of just how real danger was._

_Okay, I'm bored now,_ Slightly thought and stood up.  Leaping from rock to rock to get out here was anything but boring, and once again he wished he could fly.  _I miss it.  I just can't make myself light enough._  He turned to go back to the bank –

And jumped back in surprise when he suddenly found Peter hovering less than two feet away.

"Shit!" he yelled as he lost his footing and toppled off of the rock.  He never touched the water.  Instead, he free fell into the void and plummeted towards the pool beneath the falls.  _No, not again, no no no –_ he thought in panic.

Then he felt arms around him and his descent slowed.  He grabbed Peter back, holding on for dear life and let the boy carry him away.

"I'm sorry, Slightly," Peter said as he carried the boy up into the clouds, away from the roar of the falls.  "I didn't mean to scare you.  I'm sorry about everything."

Slightly peeked up from Peter's shoulder to look at the boy's face.  He was a bit shocked to see that Peter was crying.  He looked around and frowned, wondering where they were going. 

It didn't take long for Peter to find a cloud thick enough to hold both of them.  Gingerly, he stood Slightly on the wispy mass, nodding in relief when the boy sank to his knees and stopped.  He floated back a few feet and alighted, giving Slightly some space.

Slightly tested his feet, afraid of falling again.  He sat down and began running his fingers through the pinkish-white cloud, marveling at how it felt.  _It always reminded me of spider webs.  I forgot how nice this was.  He glanced at Peter, wondering what the boy was up to._

"This is better," Peter said.  "It's quiet… no people, and no distractions.  I hope Codfish doesn't decide to make this cloud Swiss cheese – I think we both have had enough of the _Jolly Roger_ for now.

Slightly nodded and stared at Peter as the eternal youth sat back in the cloud, fluffing up a bit to make a pillow to recline on.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," he said, then shot a look at Slightly.  "Seriously.  Everybody laughs when I say that, and it kinda hurts my feelings.  It's not my fault I forget things."  He noted how Slightly's expression didn't change and stared up again into the blue sky.  "I guess it shows how much you hate me that _you didn't laugh."_

Slightly's mouth dropped open.  How could he possibly hate Peter?  He'd been angry at him, yes, but never hate.  "I…" he said, but his voice squeaked from not being used.  Peter looked at him and he tried again.  "Don't hate you."

Peter's face brightened a bit.  "You don't?  I thought – since you wouldn't talk and you kept running away…" Peter sighed.  "I came here to talk.  No more pretending, no more hiding. Us, just us, talking like we used to do.  I miss you.  I'm glad you don't hate me, but I hate myself a whole lot right now.  I was stupid and stubborn, just like Tink said.  I made up my mind about you and couldn't admit I was wrong, not even to myself.  I love you, Slightly.  I always have, even when I thought you were a pirate.  That's why I was so angry… the thought that you, of all my Lost Boys, would betray me… it hurt a lot.  It hurt more than when Mr. Jukes put my knife in my stomach."

Slightly shook his head.  "Never.  I'd never turn on you.  Die first."

"I know.  I don't know what to say or do.  I hurt you so much and I made it so Hook could hurt you.  I keep wanting to do something to make you want to forgive me.  I keep thinking I should hurt myself, that maybe you'd feel better if I was gone.  Maybe let Hook have me like I let him have you."

"NO!" Slightly yelled, panic in his eyes.  "Hook doesn't deserve you."

Peter looked at his friend, the tears fresh again.  He moved closer to the boy and handed him his knife.  "I wronged two people.  I wronged you and Billy, because I got angry that you were friends.  Billy got me back, and I don't hold it against him that he stabbed me."  He sat up straight.  "Please don't keep on like this.  You don't speak, and you won't let anyone near you.  If I hurt you so much you can't get over it, take your revenge and be happy again.  Kill me and go back to Wendy.  It's hurting her that you don't love us anymore."

Slightly felt horror grow inside him as he stared at the knife.  "You don't understand," he whispered as he began to shake.

"Explain it to me then," Peter whispered back.

"I do love you…" Slightly began, and his carefully constructed walls began to crack.  He saw the pain in Peter's face, the need to understand, and he knew he had to continue.  "I love all of you.  I'm scared.  I'm scared of loving and being loved because it hurts so much.  And I'm angry.  I'm angry at you and father and Hook and Nibs, and everybody in Neverland.  I'm angry at myself for being weak and for not being good enough at anything…"  He saw Peter try to object, so he closed his eyes and let everything come crashing through.  Every thought, every feeling, every memory and nightmare he gave voice to, speaking the things he'd been afraid to say, so afraid of admitting that they had silenced him completely.  He cried, he screamed, he even laughed a couple of times.  Everything came out, raged in a disjointed, confusing mass of randomness.

Peter sat quietly and let Slightly go.  He knew Slightly was rambling, that the words and thoughts weren't connected together in any coherent order.  When Slightly spoke of Jenny and his parents, Peter felt his memory tickle, but no images came forth.  _It's like Chief Panther said, he needs Spring Cleaning in his heart. _ So Peter sat still and quiet, a rock in the storm of Slightly's pain and fear.  When the boy became hysterical, Peter held his friend tightly, letting Slightly keep going till he was done, but being there for him throughout.

After a long while, Slightly stopped talking.  He sat in Peter's embrace and cried, holding on to the other boy tightly.  "I'm sorry, Peter," he whispered when his sobs subsided.  "Will you forgive me?"

Peter didn't know what there was to forgive, but it didn't matter.  "Of course I do.  Will you forgive me for being an ass?"

Slightly nodded, "Yes."

"Are you ready to come home now?  Or should we go to your camp?"

"Home," Slightly said wistfully, thinking of how much he missed that place.

Peter took that as agreement and smiled.  "Let's go!  Everyone will be so happy to see you!"  He leapt into the air and began to fly away.

"Peter!" Slightly yelled, "Wait, I can't fly!"

Peter giggled and flew back.  "Silly, you already are!"

Slightly looked down and gasped.  He was hovering a good three feet above the cloud.  "How?"

Peter flew close and winked at his friend.  "How does your heart feel?"

Slightly thought for a bit.  "Lighter.  It still hurts and I'm still sad… but I feel lighter."

"Hope, forgiveness, love, trust," Peter said softly, "you have those back.  Even if you're sad and hurt, as long as you have room for those good feelings, they'll keep you from falling."

"I'm afraid," Slightly admitted.

"Me too.  But if we try together it'll be better.  I'll catch you if you fall, and I won't ever miss again," Peter swore.

Slightly nodded and took Peter's hand.  He was wobbly and weak in the air, but Peter kept his grip and steadied him every time he faltered.  Together they went back to the underground house.

Wendy had hoped that Peter would be able to speak with Slightly.  She was nervous, though – afraid that Slightly was too far gone to listen.  So when both boys unexpectedly flew into the home and stood before her and the rest of the boys, everyone stared in shocked silence.

Slightly stared back at everyone, his fear returning ten-fold.  Suddenly the room felt small and stifling and the eyes that watched him seemed hostile.  He felt the need to flee, and he stepped back, trying to pull his hand from Peter's grip.

Peter felt Slightly tense up and pull away.  He turned to the boy and gave him his best smile.  _Somebody, say something!  It can't look like you're welcoming him back because I said so._

Slightly saw Peter's cocky grin and his doubts turned into full-blown paranoia.  _He wouldn't have done all that to bring me here just to play a prank, _he tried to reassure himself.  _Peter's not that cold. _ He remembered Peter and the others when they'd cast him out, and he remembered that Peter Pan could, indeed, be stone cold when he was angry.

Wendy noticed the discomfort in Slightly's face and realized it was becoming panic.  She stepped forward and held out her arms.  "Welcome home, Slightly," she said warmly and smiled.

Like ice melting in an open fire, Slightly's misgivings disappeared.  He let Wendy pull him into a hug and held her back.  He heard the other boys repeat her words, shouting "Welcome Home" and "We missed you."  They surrounded him, touching and hugging him and he cried again.  But this time his tears were tears of happiness.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Slightly?" Tink asked the boy.  They sat in Panther's medicine tent again, and the pixie and the shaman were watching him closely.

Slightly glanced at Peter and nodded.  "Yes.  I don't want to remember being Jason.  Jason died a long time ago.  I'm Slightly, I have been ever since I woke up here.  I'll see Jenny and mother again in heaven one day.  Until then, I don't think they'd mind if I could be happy."

Panther nodded.  "Very well.  Lie down and we will grant your wish."  When the boy complied, he and Tinker Bell began the complicated weaving of fairy and Indian magics that would make Slightly forget.

Slightly yawned and realized the chanting had stopped.  He frowned a bit, "I don't think it worked."

"Do you remember your real name?" Tink asked.

"Slightly," he replied, then stopped.  _No, there was another name… long ago.  "It's gone!" he whispered in amazement._

"How do you feel?" Panther asked him, making sure he wasn't harmed.

"I'm slightly wonderful," the boy answered, laughing in relief.

"Good work!" Peter said happily, "I've never seen two different magics go together like that… the sparks were pretty."

"Yeah, but the smoke and pixie dust are making my eyes burn," Billy complained good-naturedly.

Slightly blinked in confusion.  "Billy?  You weren't here before, when did you get here?"

"I've been here a good two hours, cully," Billy replied, "You've been in a weird trance for awhile."

Peter smiled smugly, looking pleased with himself.  "I invited Billy here.  Today is your Forgetting Day, and we decided that _all_ of your friends should be here for you."

"It was Wendy's idea," Tink whispered loudly.

"Do you still remember being on the ship?" Billy asked, leaning forward.  He wasn't sure if Slightly should or not. 

Slightly nodded.  "Yeah, but it's slightly fuzzy… like it happened a long time ago.  It doesn't hurt to remember anymore."

"Good," Billy nodded, "then I can give you this."  He handed Slightly a small pouch that made a jingling sound.

"What is it?" Slightly asked as he opened the pouch.  He poured out the contents and stared in amazement and the four gold and six silver coins that lay in his hand.

"Wages and compensation.  Hook gave me the day ashore to come see you, with the excuse that I'm here on his business.  He said I can be friends with you, but I have to be a pirate first and try to capture you if I can.  I figure you'll just capture me a whole lot instead.  Cap'n's got a temper, and he goes off the edge sometimes.  He says he don't remember trying to kill you, and I believe him.  He's not against killing, but he thinks the method he used on you was 'barbaric', specially since using whips on kids is generally looked down on.  This is your compensation for the harm he did ya and for the extra work you did.  I pointed out to him that your room and board was pretty sparse, so he tossed in some extra."

"I slightly don't need money, Billy," Slightly said as he stared at the coins.

"As much as that man loves treasure, it means a lot that he's parting with some, especially that much.  And to be giving it to a Lost Boy… I believe he means the apology.  He really did like ya, was going to give you his name and all.  If you keep it, it means you accept his apology, and things go back to normal between you two – Lost Boy and Cap'n Hook.  If you send it back, you'll basically be telling him to go to Hell.  It's your call."

Slightly looked at Peter, afraid of looking like he was allying with Hook if he accepted.

But Peter smiled and nodded.  "Like Billy said, its pirate treasure, and the only thing I've seen Hook surrender treasure for is the chance to kill _me.  Remember the _Rake_?  He was going to let his ship sink to keep that treasure.  I think he means it, too.  If you forgive him, then keep it.  If it was me, I'd say "Go to Hell," but I've got no room to talk."_

Slightly put the coins back in the sack and put it beside him.  "I'll keep it.  Maybe I'll trade 'em for something slightly nice at Small Monday Island Fair."

Billy smiled in relief.  "He also sent a message.  If you decide to grow up, come join his ship and you can be his cabin-boy.  But as long as you're with Pan, you're no different from any other Lost Boy."

"I'll always be a Lost Boy," Slightly said firmly.

"No problem," Billy said, looking around.  "Umm… well, I guess I should go now."

"What's your hurry?" Peter asked.

"I'm interrupting…" Billy protested.

"He gave you the day ashore?"

"Uh, yes," Billy said carefully.

"So you won't get in trouble if you stay awhile?"

"Probably not…"

"Good!" Slightly and Peter said at once.  They laughed and Slightly continued.  "So you can slightly stay for the party!"

"Party?" Billy said weakly, feeling trapped.

"Slightly's 'Welcome Back' party," Peter explained.  "Tink used her magic to make a cake and everyone's at home decorating.  It's at our house, so we'll have blindfold you 'till we get there.  We're gonna raid the _Jolly Roger_ tonight, to remind Codfish of what he's been missing.  We'll carry you back then and you can say we held you prisoner and forced you to eat cake."

"Because I'm definitely not taking 'no' for an answer," Slightly threatened, smiling.  "I was a pirate for a month, you can slightly be a Lost Boy for _one day_."

Billy laughed and shook his head.  "All right!  Stop twisting my arm, I'll go.  Are all of you such bullies?"

"We're Lost Boys," Slightly replied happily.

They bid the Indians farewell.  After blindfolding Billy, Peter and Slightly lifted him between them and flew home to the friends that awaited them there.

The End.


End file.
